Saturday, November 1, 2008

So today I met with the contractor that is going to be rebuilding my roof, he’s a nice guy, the father of a friend, a good guy. He brought with him his lead carpenter….I was reminded of my love of contractors. Oh.My. I couldn’t stop starring, luckily I was on the ground and he was on the roof, so I don’t think anyone noticed. He was so fine. I just keep thinking I want really hot weather so he takes that dang shirt off.

I love the ruggedness of a good contractor. The well defined arms from lifting, the delicious chest and leg muscles, and the finely sculpted hind end. Most of them are truly a work of art. I can only hope I get ample opportunity to watch him work next week. Hubba freakin hubba.

I’m suffering from quite a battle with M.O.T.M. lately (Men on the mind). I really need to get out more. It’s not always the sculpted types I drool over, I find my tastes vary quite a bit from man to man. Each one having a different quality I seem to swoon over, each one brings out something different in me.

On Sunday I was chatting a bit with someone fairly local that wanted to meet up. What first struck me was all of my insecurities, my weight, my lack of conversational skills, my lack of knowledge in regards to world events, and so on and so forth. Once I was finally able to push them aside, well mostly I found myself searching for a time to meet the guy. I found out, that my schedule is really not conducive for meeting people right now. Between the jobs and everything I have to get done, and spending time with my friends, it leaves me no time for anything else.

I’m finding balancing time with everyone very difficult. I love having a lot of friends, but when you don’t have the time an average American has, then you really don’t have time to spend with everyone. With all the weddings and all the other events of the fall, I’ve been neglecting people. It kills me, but at the same time I just don’t have the time. It saddened me that when I had the time in Michigan I didn’t take advantage of it, and now that I have no time, I have more things to do and people to see than I have time to accomplish, and that ends up effecting my other greatest problem, guilt. It’s way to easy to play the guilt card with me, because everyone that uses it knows it bothers me too, but there is nothing really I can do. How can I put a ranking system on the people in my lives? I feel like everyone wants me to rank everyone else below them, which I can appreciate and I love that so many people love me, but there are only so many hours in a day and there is only one of me.

I’m trying to tell myself that I am at one location for 11 hours a day, if they really truly wanted to see me, or talk to me, they would come visit me here, where they know I am. But instead I just feel guilty all the time if I can’t spend time with so and so because I made plans with someone else. I would love to be spontaneous, but people call and make plans, plans pile up so I have to schedule in time to be spontaneous. LOL.

It’s been a battle most of my life and it drives me crazy. Just because I’m out having fun with one person doesn’t mean that I rank them higher, it means they called and made plans months in advance. I just never quite know what to do about the whole situation. I mean how can someone bitch because so many people love to spend time with them? Oh well, such is life.

Sunday I’m going out with a new friend of mine. He’s taking me 4-wheeling. The last time I was supposed to go at our other friend’s house I couldn’t get out there until after dark and they were packed up back on the trailer before I could get out there, I was very sad. But this time I’m going, I’m going to be prepared, and I’m just SOOOO looking forward to something so new to me. I wish I could fill every free moment with new opportunities! But I’m sure that would get exhausting too.

So anyway that’s about all for me, I just wanted to talk about the hot carpenter that was wondering around this afternoon.


  1. First off, I have to say...

    "Hubba! Hubba!"

    If I'm not mistaken, that's an old pic of Mr. Brad Pitt.

    If C and I ever made a "celeb cheat list" a la "Friends", Mr. Pitt would be right at the top.

    Okay... I'm going to go into a tangent if I don't stop here.

    I see a couple facets of the "too busy to meet friends, much less new people" scenario.

    First of all, I suggest caution meeting strangers from the internet the first time. Always at a public and neutral location. Never drink. Seriously, I learned that the hard way.

    That being said, in a busy world, especially one as busy as yours, it's always easy to find a reason not to do something that scares the shit out of us.

    I think the first step is figuring out what it is exactly that scares us about it, and finding a way to accommodate the experience into our own comfort zone.

    Always go with your gut, even if your head(s) are trying to steer you in another direction.

    If you don't see how you may be using your busy-ness as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable situations, then perhaps you can find a way to compromise.

    Extend an invitation to your friends to hang out while the store is still open. If you invite more than one, and they know each other, then they can keep themselves entertained while you're busy.

    One suggestion that may work as well would be to invite your friends to have a burger with you while your on your lunch break at your other job. I remember people in your position having a hard time taking their break at the same time everyday, so just suggest your friends pop in at a time of night that you're generally slow. Then you can sit and have a bite to eat with them and talk a bit.

    It may only be a half hour, but it keeps you from feeling isolated, while letting your friends know that you still want to make an effort too.

    I'm in the same boat as you as far as the spontaneous moments. If you call at the last minute and want to do something, don't be offended if I already have plans. Pisses me off every time. I don't blame you there at all. It's selfish and rude.

    While I'm not into the whole 4 wheeling thing, it sounds like a good time, and I hope you enjoy some much needed decompression time!!!

  2. "What first struck me was all of my insecurities, my weight, my lack of conversational skills, my lack of knowledge in regards to world events, and so on and so forth."

    I'm sorry WHAT?! I remember walking into your store the first time and inviting you to the "gun" show as I carried the moniter from my car to your THAT was social awkwardness! You are a wonderful conversationalist and have very strong opinions and more knowledge on world events then you give yourself credit for! As for your weight, people don't see it. Do you see mine? Why can you extend grace and kindness to me when I go on an emotional rampage about my 37 chins and the 3rd grader I carry on my waist but you can't extend that to yourself?