Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Oh Mr. Winter

Oh Mr. Winter, so we are going to cross paths again, let me say I'm less than thrilled. While you have many good qualities, I do not have the patience for you. I loath what you do to me and how you treat me. I am going to create a pro and con list to see if you and I are actually compatible. If I find we are not, I will have to cut all ties with you, and will continue loathing you as I have in previous years.

Pro: my electric bill is cut in 1/2 because my coolers enjoy your presence and they don't have to work nearly as hard to keep my beer and products cold.
Con: my gas bill is higher and the 5 furnaces run all the time because you're bitterness is too much to take and I'm constantly shivering otherwise.

Pro: it's so nice to curl up on a snowy day and enjoy a good movie, or a hot cup of coffee and a good book and watch how peaceful outside is.
Con: I have so little time to do this so I end up having to go outside and shovel the bright whiteness off of my parking lot and driveway and end up cold and sweating and not so happy.

Pro: Your snowy white goodness reflects the sun and makes everything seem so much brighter and clean.
Con: Your snowy white goodness reflects the sun and blinds me as I'm driving to work, and ends up giving me a massive headache.

Pro: There is something so peaceful about getting up at 6am and seeing everything covered in crisp clean snow and no one is one the roads creating a calm about the area.
Con: No one is driving because it is so dangerous, activities are canceled and there are no customers in my store to help pay for the gas bill.

Pro: You hold the secrets to a beautiful Christmas morning, and in order to enjoy the Christmas season I must go through you.
Con: How can I argue with that pro?

So you win again Mr. Winter, I will muddle through your oppressive beauty, I will put up with your dreary brightness, and your cold and painful months, because Christmas makes up for it all. But if I could ask you one small favor in return, I will boast about you for just this one small favor. Could you please....please create a new holiday in the midst of February to get excited about because January and February are the longest and most painful months you present. It's all I ask......and perhaps a stretch of 60 degree weather would be good too, but I won't push you for that.

Just please take it easy on me this year, I've already admitted to your victory over my will, I will abide by your laws, please don't ask anything more.


  1. Why can't we compromise? If we have to go through winter to get to Christmas, why doesn't it leave after the holidays?

    I also love waking up to freshly fallen snow. A beautiful site at 3:30am, to be sure. Then, at 4:30, when I'm clearing it off of my truck so that I can drive through drifts off it to go to work, it's not so beautiful anymore.

  2. I would love that! But somehow I don't think it's going to work. Mr. Winter is an ass and doesn't often compromise.

    Why can't we be kids again when snow was fun and still beautiful, because we had no responsibilities.

  3. I'm not so worried about winter this year, since I'll be parking...


  4. I hate snow. Snow is the root of all evil. Now some people think that's money, but it's not, it's snow.