Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Religion Part 2

In Michigan one of my first rommates was a born again Christian. I took this as a good sign and got to know him. But what I found out in the course of that first year was he pretended to be born again to try and win back his ex. girlfriend. I lost a bit of respect for him at that point, he was a good guy, but very strange.

The other religous aspect was Campus Crusade for Christ. Oh what memories of that one short visit. My friend's roommate was big into this and being as I was searching for answers and trying to draw closer to God I decided to give it a shot. I was not very open with new people, but thought this would be a group to understand and listen. So I went to my first meeting. They started the meeting with a devotional which I found very interesting and then proceeded with the meeting. The meeting started with me telling them about myself and I should have seen it coming with the looks I was getting. They would ask questions about what kind of music I listen to, what I did on the weekends and stuff like that. So I was honest and then they hit me. They nailed me by telling me about how everything I'm doing was devil worship, how my music was satan's way of getting into my head, how the actions we take everyday condem us and the only way to get to heaven is to give it all up and start anew. Listen to only christian music, watch films and t.v. shows only supported by the church and on and on and on. I quietly listened while in the back of my head thinking "these people are crazy!"

The meeting continued by discussing all the latest trends on campus and how we should pray for their souls, which I was all about, but let me tell you, the style of jeans? I mean really? They believed they were the only saved people on campus. I asked what they did to help show the lost souls the way, if they did any outreach programs and such and they all just stared at me. They felt the world was so lost they could not as a group reach out to these people. I was astonished and stood up and made my way to the door. They asked if they would see me again, I just quietly turned and said "I doubt it, I seriously doubt it" And from that point none of them every spoke to me again. I just couldn't belive it. I had had enough of religion, I was done. I promised God to not give up on him, but this organized religion crap was for the birds.

I had decided I could live a God approved life without organzied religion. I was after all still a christian. I treated people well, I prayed for people, I did good deeds, I tried to fight off sin when I could. I knew I had failed and while guilt sat on my stomach like a lead weight I knew I could be o.k. God and I had an understanding, we were good. I just continued to work really hard at my life. The only time I attended church while in college was when I was home for the weekend, to attend with my family. Even that was ridiculous at times, I would find myself staring at these people while they were talking, listening to them condem entire groups of people, listening to them judging. I was sick to my stomach. I kept thinking, if this is how I was raised, it's no wonder! I began talking with my mother about religion. My sister had opened that door since she was minoring in religion and was trained to question her faith and it opened new doors in my family. New conversations.

I talked to my mother about some of the things that were bothering me about judgements and she turned to me and said "You hate the sin, not the sinner, the sinner should still be loved" While it didn't completely sooth my soul, I knew my mother was a loving person willing to see past the sin and see the sinner underneath. My mother was not like them, my mother is different. She's very welcoming and loving and says wise things like that. I had serious doubts that my church would ever be a welcoming place for me again, but they all knew me, they were like a family. A disfunctional family, but a family non the less.

My senior year of college was quite an emotional roller coaster. I had lost what I thought was the love of my life. I sat on my balcony and cried. I had realized the lonliness really went away even while I was in the relationship. I had still felt alone, like no one was around, like no one cared. I felt as if I was screaming and people just passed me by as if it was nothing. I felt invisible much like I had the rest of my life. I found myself leaning over the edge of my balcony contemplating if I would survive a jump. Bringing myself closer and closer to the edge of my sanity once again. It wasn't all about her, it was more, I was just a wall flower in life that no one noticed, I blended in and I was so tired. As I closed in on the point of no return, as I was standing on my balcony railing on the 4th. floor a moment of clarity came to me. I was suddenly reciting the poem "Footprints". I climbed back down, sat down in my chair and was suddenly calm, suddenly at peace with the world. Like God himself had come down and brought me back to reality, he held me and kept me safe that night, and I slept like I hadn't slept before.

As I moved on to life on my own after college I felt closer to God, I wasn't as social but I found solace in the online world. I would go to random religious sites and read how people were feeling, to communicate with people simliar to me. It was freeing, and yet I started to yearn for worship. I had begun missing worship, as much as organized religion had irritated me, I missed it. I started to realize what organized religion does for people, it gives them a place to celebrate together, a place to be together and worship the reason, the source of everything, and so I began to search. I visited probably 10 different churches in three years time, and kept coming up empty. It was either a comment made by one of the congregation or something said in the sermon that had me still fed up, still wanting to run. I prayed alot about this and kept asking for answers, or to show me the way.

As my third year of being on my own in Michigan was coming to a close, things were bad. My job was impossible, and the lonliness was eating me from the inside out again. I began praying for help once again. I needed a path because I was scared and confused. One weekend when I was home visiting the parents we passed an old store, an old store that I had grown up going to, that I had always talked about buying, etc... So I began thinking. I felt the need to come back home, and wondered if this was my chance. So as the research process was going on it seemed everything was falling into place, and before I knew it I was home and had my own business.

Now this business has not been easy and it continues to try my patience every single day of my life with it, but so far God has kept me safe as always. He has found ways to provide for me and has never let harm come to me. There are nights I lay in bed screaming for more help, more guidance and every day it's the same. Even once I came home I was not a regular at church, I thought I wanted to be involved but I just wasn't ready. I was still having issues between me and God. I still had things to talk with him about to find the clarity I need. I had begun feeling as if God would not accept me for who I am, that who I was could be the condeming factor to this.

To be honest I still struggle with that right now. I prayed and God sent me some very special people, I have had some very great experiences and these people help me to grow. But I find myself questioning.

Do I really need saved again if I've always loved God? If I never really lost God, is there a saved again? I have lived my life according to what God wants for us, I have treated others like he would want. I'm still rather internal about religion, but lately I feel the need to discuss more and more, read more and more and find out more and more. So am I truely saved or born again? I feel I have always been saved, yet society makes me feel like I'm a heathen because I have issues with organized religion. I'm just not sure why. My relationship with God is personal, I'm doing better at sharing it, but it's something I like to keep for myself. In my faith is all my secrets, things that only God knows and is helping me deal with, things he helps me cope.

I'm not sure what even started this or where I thought it was going, I guess it was just something that needed to be said. Am I arrogant to think I don't need saved? That my soul has belonged to God my whole life? Sure I've had doubts, sure I've sinned, we're all sinners. What this journey of late seems to be about it acceptance. Accepting God for the love he gives regardless who you are, and acceptance to know that no matter who you are, he's always there for you. God has touched my life in so many ways, not always the most obvious ways, but I know he's there, he's listening. My plans are not his.

While God has given us free will he's there to help, he's there to catch us when we fall. I have had a big hurtle of late to get over, but I think I'm getting there. These answers are not yes or no, and they are not a discovery that can be made over night. These are long drawn out answers that God provided me people in my life to help me.

The lonliness is still there, I feel it creeping up on me at the strangest times and the most obvious times, but I know I'm not alone, I never have been, and I never will be. I had a debate with a science freak awhile ago who talked about what a waste of time faith was, how it has held back the human race. I told him even if it is crazy, even if it is a waste of time, what should it matter to you? If we arent' harming anyone, what should you care? People in this life need something to believe in. The creator, God almighty who created the heavens and the earth, who created this "science" and allows you free will to chose not to believe in him. But how you could not see God in the water, in the trees and in every life on the planet is beyond me. But I do not judge you for not believing, so what gives you the right to judge me because I do?

It got ugly for awhile but we came to an understanding and I felt better. Not because I convinced him to believe or I dragged him into faith, but because for once he came across someone who could not be convinced that God does not exist. There is no proof, there is no data to prove he exists, I could not argue that, but I don't need those things to know he's there, to believe. It's what faith is and trying to explain that to someone who doesn't have it is quite mind boggling.

So anyway, like I said, no real point, just stuff that's been dwelling inside me and just came pouring out. I blame the sickness, it lets my gaurd down and sends this stuff right out of my head. Dang it! Oh well.

Religion part 1

So I've never really discussed religion or my views with alot of people before. Partly because I was afraid of being judged and partly because I wasn't sure what I believed so it was hard to put to words what I wanted to say. This is still the case, but in the last two years I've taken a hard look at myself and my thoughts and this blog has been brewing.

So as a kid I was raised in a church family. My mother being the secretary at our church helped matters even more. We were in church every Sunday unless we were sick, or out of town or our family had a late event such as a wedding the night before, we rarely ever missed. We always went to Sunday school and if we were at a different church for services for whatever reason we reported back our attendance at the other church, it was important to my parents that we always attended sunday school. I learned the stories and made friends with people that were outside of my usual "group" I've never been sure if it was the town I lived in, or the classmates I had but we were divided into cliches nearly at birth. But Sunday School felt like the one place we all got along, that is until we got older.

I never doubted the existance of God, I knew he was there and I knew how to pray, well at least how they taught us to pray. The pastor at the time was a sort of "Rule with an iron fist" type of pastor, but he was kind and gentle. It was a strange combination, but being in my small town there wasn't anything to rock the boat so to speak. As I got into middle school I was still the God fearing christian that didn't doubt and didn't question. We learned in Cathecism that questioning was a sign of weak faith and weak faith was bad. I still resent learning that even to this day. Looking back I should have just shaken myself and my parents to open their eyes, but that would not happen for several years.

In middle school the differences from everyone's "groups" became evident. I didn't fit in with the cool kids, I didn't fit in with the jocks, I just didn't fit in. I found myself a fat kid with glasses and braces finding friends among the "social outcasts" Which involved me and one other person in my sunday school class. Everyone pretended to get along but we were divided, never working as a group, very passive aggresive. As time worn on I began to hear the comments, the snickers, I couldn't carry on a coversation with them because I didn't follow sports and I became angry. I took my anger to God. I asked him how I was supposed to grow closer to him when the people that were supposed to be on this journey with me were driving me away. I began to not like going to Sunday School and church was becoming more of a hassle than a joy. I couldn't understand the sermons and we were supposed to be taking sermon notes on all the sermons. I didn't understand a thing he was saying. I already had problems comprehending what I was reading, but when the preacher was using such large words and complex sentences I was at a loss.

The other kids in the class faked it and I felt stupid. They could get through it without even thinking about it, to them it was just another lecture. But maybe I was hoping for more, maybe I was trying to get something out of it and there was nothing to have. I began my downfall. At the end of Catechism you are required to test out of the class. You pass the test and they confirm you into the church, you fail and you get to keep taking the test until you pass, wether that be a month, or a year. I passed my test, but barely. The pastor spoke to my mother about some of the answers in my test and his concern for my well being. Nothing life threatening mind you but confused answers. The one that sticks out in my mind to this day was this: Do Lutherans believe in Purgatory? My answer was confused, but I basically said yes. He came to me and asked why I would answer the complete opposite of what I was taught. I was a bit taken back by the whole thing. He taught us that Lutherans believe you don't go straight to heaven, but there was no purgatory. That was it, no more explanation. I told him about that and he sort of followed where I was going with the thoughts and ended up giving me credit for the question. I still don't know what Lutherans believe on that subject, I should look that up now that I think about it. hmmm.....

So anyway I battled several years later with the idea of purgatory. What happens when you die, if Lutherans don't believe in pergatory then what? I had started to conclude on my own through a very small microscope that perhaps we paid for our sins on earth before we died. I watched my grandfather die for nearly 10 years before he was finally gone. 10 years of pain, surgery and heart ache. I couldn't make any sense of it. How could someone be so tortured for 10 whole years? Then I began to hear about my grandfather before he was my grandfather, and started to hear about some of the horrific things he would do. He wasn't always the sweet gentle man I remember. So my mind began to wonder, was this his payment for the sins committed in the past? I felt like an idiot thinking it and never discussed this idea with anyone until now. But as time went on I lost another grandfather. He was sick for about a week to a week and a half and finally passed away after those two weeks of severe struggling. And I thought once again, was that him paying for the sins of the past? I came to the conclusion that it couldn't have been because that grandfather did not have the same type of past. And yet when my grandmother went she went so fast, she wasn't sick or anything, just here one minute and gone another. And I began to wonder again. I spent years pondering this and from time to time still do.

You see, I've never really answered any of my questions, it's a constant battle and a constant search that I fear will never end, until the end.

So anyway.... In high school I was feeling more and more distant from the group that was supposed to be my family. Like a lab experiment I continued to try and fit in, to try and get along and gain acceptance in this group, and each time getting zapped by trying to go where I was not supposed to. Sunday School in high school became terrible. The first week our teacher told us his story of being born again, which is not really a Lutheran thing, strangely enough, I considered it a moment of clarity. But anyway it was a rivoting story and I really enjoyed it and thought the next year of class would be exciting. What I found it to be was mind numbing. That was the only week we talked about God. By week three it was all sports, all sorts of sports talk, and the girls would sit on the other end of the room and gossip about high school. I was fed up, just sitting in the middle twiddling my thumbs for an hour every week. Finally I told my parents I was not going back, of course I had to explain, and after that my parents never made me go back.

At this time we were all still involved in the Youth Group, so I took a bigger part of that, other classes, other people and some of the best advisors I ever could have asked for. It was around this time we also got a new pastor after the retirement of the one before. The new pastor was younger and understood a little more, and the advisors for the youth group were so down to earth. I spent most of my time talking with the pastor and the advisors and not really participating in activities with the other kids. I had found my place. I had always enjoyed the company of adults more so than kids my own age, I was mature for my age and I was o.k. with that. We went on several outings and weekend trips, some good, some bad. Went went canoeing for one trip and I partnered up with the pastor and we had a great time lazily floating along in last place and talking about nature and God.

On another trip we went hiking and I am quite the fast walker, I can walk quite well but I stayed behind and slowed it down and spent three hours talking to one of the advisors about faith as we hiked along. Those trips to me were the best. I had grown tired of the same actions and same responces from the class and became less and less caring about what we did together. We did finally attend a youth advent, we all shared rooms at the hotel that was hosting and there were different events for the advisors and for the youth, so I was seperated from the people I liked to be with. I spent the night falling for rediculous gag after rediculous gag until I finally got the hint and stopped playing. They wanted to go play volleyball and took off, I followed as requested and got down there and they were gone. That was the last straw so I gave up. I wandered the halls for awhile not really doing anything but talking to God. Still asking, how was this supposed to strengthen my faith? How was this supposed to help me? A weekend of feeling like an outcast.

During the main event everyone was sitting in the theatre. There were thousands of kids from across the state listening and singing and I sat there. I sat there all alone feeling completely seperated from life, seperated from everything. I never knew I could feel so alone amongst so many thousands. I got nothing out of that trip except a love for a christian rock band I had met the day before during a meet and greet.

So I had done these trips, I had tried to be vocal about religion and each time I felt like I was getting smacked, so I stopped talking about it, I stopped thinking about it and I stopped yearning for answers. I became a very internal creature. After high school I moved out on my own, I stopped going to church because church felt empty to me. No one there seemed like it was real. It's so hard to explain but I felt as if I was floating along. I became more and more aware of the sins and the evils in the world. But that will come later.

Now mind you, until high school I was a model christian. I didn't smoke, drink, swear, or anything un christian like. I treated everyone as I wanted to be treated, I saw the good in everyone and everything and couldn't understand the need for things like drugs and alcohol. I was just as my parents wanted me to be.

It was in high school I smoked my first ciggerette, the ciggerette I pulled from my father's ashtray to try and be like the cool kids. I found a group of fun people with wild ideas in school and I really started to enjoy myself, but with high school fun comes high school drama. I got tied up with girls on the brain and who said what and who yelled at who and so on and so forth. It's so hard to not get tied up into that. I became lonely. Everyone was dating and had lives and I was home every weekend with my family. I became lonely, and when drama meets lonliness you get me. I contemplated suicide everyday, life was horrible and miserable, and I just wanted it all to go away. Listening to my friends complain about having someone and the lives they were living I became jealous and that only made things worse. The only fun I truely had was in Band.

Band to me was my sanctuary. It was rough at times, but music to me was my creative output. I loved music and I poured myself into everything musical. This did not help with my social standings in school either. But I found a network of bandies that I found comfort in. I felt God had sent me to band to find a little bit of peace, of happiness, and I was grateful. Through out high school I began to ponder more and more and question more and more. I began praying, not like I had been taught, but praying like I meant it. I prayed for my friend's happiness, I prayed for peace in my life, I prayed for good grades to make my parents proud. I was still attending church regularly with my parents but I didn't seem to be getting much out of it.

I knew God existed still, I knew he watched over me, and I knew he would protect me. But it was everything else in religion that I began to question. I didn't know what I believed anymore, who was right, who was wrong? Where was I going and why? The preacher we had would use swear words in general conversation, he smoked a pipe and enjoyed a cold beer from time to time and I admired that. He showed me that even a man of God was human. But his sermons were anything but. His sermons were unconnected and confusing and I began to lose interest. I would spend my time in church remodeling in my head to turn the church into a house. It's strange, but I always think about things like that.

So anyway, high school came and went, finally. I got over the thoughts of suicide, I got over the feeling of helplessness and began to grow. My senior year I had experimented with alcohol and continued my smoking, but that was pretty much where I drew the lines. I knew my limits and felt God was staring at me in that judging way whenever I did these things, but I caved to sin and continued.

When I moved out of my parents house after high school I moved in with two of my best friends. I was living quite the life, working full time at Wendy's as a manager, partying every night with my friends and going to school full time. I still have no idea how I managed, but I did. I gave up on church until once in awhile I would be riddled with guilt and I would drag myself there. It's not that I didn't still believe in God, but it was inconvenient to me. The time I had was either spent working on Sunday mornings or sleeping.

Going to college as a commuter student was strange. I was attending classes with people that were friends outside of class, people that lived together so I felt I was on the outside looking in again. It was o.k. because they were judgmental, they were good people. I met so many types of people of all walks of life and really enjoyed it. I had several conversations with people about all sorts of aspects of life and was amazed at the differences in everyone. I talked religion with an 84 year old grandmother in my writing class one day before class. I told her I know he's up there but that's all I know for sure. She turned to me and said "Honey, that's all you need to know right now, believing is the first step, everything else will come in time"

Suddenly I felt better, I felt lighter, like it was o.k. for me to be questioning, to be curious. I felt so much better at that point. She told me alot about her life and her struggles with religion and for the first time I felt normal, I felt good, I felt like I belonged. We spoke alot that semester, she was an 84 year old african american grandmother with stories that were just amazing. For this poor white kid from farm country it was quite the experience and I'm still grateful for that today.

For several years I still struggled with religion, and with faith. How did I know I was going to heaven? How did I know I was good enough, that I was living a good christian life. There were times I was nothing but covered in sin and I battled with so much the next few years. I found good balance. I didn't drink to get drunk, I just enjoyed the casual drink, but the addiction to smoking was still there. I talked bad about people, I gossiped, I had very lustful thoughts, I was jealous alot. I started to look at the seven deadly sins and began to convict myself everyday for the horriblness I was committing. But then I would turn and look at the ten commandments and think, I follow these, which way is best? I can't possibly follow everything can I? It just seems like so much to follow and pay attention to. Sin is sneaky!

I ended up dropping out of college, I was tied up with my life back home. I was tired and something had to go, so I went with financial security. I got a third shift job and just began working. I felt rested and felt anew. My parents were a bit dissappointed but supported me non the less. That year I met some of the most amazing people I would ever meet in my life. People that opened my eyes to some of the most bizzar beliefs and thoughts on faith and religion and I just listened and was astonished. I developed alot of what I believe that year, with the help of some of these people that my up bringing told me were not christians, but I knew they were. The idea of religion pulling away from faith and christianity crossed my mind. That maybe all I was taught is not all right? And from then on my mind seemed clearer and more open to ideas and I felt less guilty about it.

Towards the end of that year I realized just how unhappy I was. While I still felt great on the outside with all these new friends and this new life, I just wasn't happy. I felt like I was going no where in life and getting there fast. I prayed and prayed often. I moved back home to gather some money and to take me out of the lifestyle that was dragging me down. I began to go back to church on a regular basis because I felt the need to be there. Not to worship with others but because in my head I felt closer to God there. Like maybe he would listen better if I was in church and praying. So I would go and pray for guidance, pray for answers, something, anthing really before I was destroyed by my own mind.

It seemed all hope was lost, I wasn't any stronger and no answers were coming to. Day in and day out I would go to work, have the same conversations with the same people and do the same job, I was losing my mind with the manotony of it all. One night on the way to work I felt it was the end. I felt as if I could not take it anymore, like the loneliness and the unhappiness washed over me like a wave and suddenly I wanted it no more. I veered left of center and began driving towards a semi head on. I felt it would be the best and quickest way to be done with it all. As the head light drew closer and got brighter, the sounds of the horn it was all so silent to me, and that's when it happened. It felt as if God had come down and sat in the passenger seat and bitch slapped me. I came to my senses and verred back to my side of the road, pulled over to the side and burst into tears.

How could I have come so close? How could I have let myself think this way. I knew then that it was God that had saved me that night. God had bigger plans for me. From that night forth I began searching and let God light the way. I followed him, I listened to him and it was like he was speaking to me all the time, directing me and showing me the way. I took back over my life and had decided to go back to school, away from home, away from all of this. I felt anew.

Within about six months I had enrolled in a university in Michigan and was ready to start over again. A new life.

Since this is already terribly long, I'll post this and start part two.

2 blogs and a post secret


I have a friend I thought this about, but it could be said for everyone. There are good people around you somewhere, have you paid attention enough to see them? Perhaps what you wanted out of life is not what you needed. Take a moment and ponder that.

Expanding on myspace blog and venting

So I have come to the conclusion that most of america thinks themselves as "above" the person making their food at a fast food restaurant. I find this completely repulsive and infuriating. When watching the new Burger King commercials where they stop selling the Whopper for a day, do you laugh? Do you find it funny that adults are treating the person behind the counter like crap? I found those commercials so replusive I can't stand to watch them. How people can find that kind of abuse hilarious is beyond me. Why aren't more people saying...."How can someone become so biligerent over a freakin hamburger? And to someone who only does what they are told?" I just want to find those people and smack them. If you are unhappy you can't get your fat laced microwaved burger from them, get over it and move on. Is it really that important to you that you feel the need to raise your voice or threaten another human being? I mean really?

From time to time at Wendy's we get complaints that are logged by international Wendy's through their website and they are sent to the store after everyone and their brother reads them. Some of these are legitimate and they were truely wronged and they are kind and considerate about it and we call and make them happy again. But this one really got under my skin and I'll post an excerpts from it:

"They are also not very friendly there. I'm not saying they are
rude, but they just have a blank look on their face and hand the order to
you. I don't usually like to complain but it's frustrating when you are
having a busy evening and decided to get something to bring home and when
you get home, it's wrong. And I don't live close enough to the restaurant
to go back and fix it. I don't have that kind of time. That's why I went
there, to save time from cooking dinner. Thank you."

O.K. so we're not very friendly there? We're not rude, but we have blank stares huh? You are coming through a drive thru at 10pm. Do you think you're the only person on the planet that is busy all day? Do you think these teenagers slept all day and were refreshed and ready to go at 8pm to serve you with a smile on their face, should they do cartwheels? Yes, perhaps it would be nice to get a smile, but did act like you deserved it? I'm very pleasent to customers who are pleasent to me, and even some of the bad ones I try to kill them with kindness to really piss them off. But not everyone is like me. Not everyone can swallow the crap that is dealt in a drivethru and keep a smile on their face, I know I can't always. You treat me like crap? Well I'm not going to put alot of concern in your care, I'm sorry, but sometimes that how it goes. When we have customers that have had bad experiences in the past, they make sure to tell you all about at the speaker, at the first window and then again at the second window.

Let me ask you this. If you have had many bad experiences in the past, would you not check your order before driving away? Would you not take the two seconds to open the bag to see if we forgot your straws? Oh my, how could we, it's not like we don't have eight cars in the drivethru we are worried about. Did you stop to think that the person that bagged the order might have let it slip their mind? Are they perfect? No. I can tell you that while you are baggin an order you have another order going off in your headset, three employees asking you questions while you are dropping fries, getting drinks and helping the other employees. I'm so sorry that I forgot your straw and you waited until you got home to notice. What ever happened to personal responsibility? You just paid an average of $3/person for a meal. You get what you pay for. You want 5 star service? Go pay for it.

I'm not saying you can't have a pleasant experience at a fast food restaurant, but you must stop and think about it. These teenagers get up at an average of 7am to get ready for school, they spend all day at school until say 3pm. Then they have enough time to get home, and get ready for work and be there between 4 and 5 pm. Then they work until just after midnight, go home and start over. I mean really, how many of these people do that 5 days a week? You think you have a tight schedule? And not only that, but they do this for MINIMUM WAGE!!!! They find they are not above serving food to the public, if these kids were not here to do it, who would? Who would ensure you could get a meal for $3 to serve to your family because somehow you're to busy to cook yourself?

"And I don't live close enough to the restaurant
to go back and fix it. I don't have that kind of time"

I mean really? The address for this woman is less than a 2 minute drive from the restaurant. You would rather have your kids screaming or going hungry just because you can't turn around and let us fix the mistake? You would rather not call and inform us of the incident? In you busy schedule you somehow found the time to get online and register a complaint, rather than come back and let us fix it so your family can eat their meal? Wow, I guess everyone isn't me. I would have no problem calling and being plesant and getting it taken care of. But I personally would check the bag before I drove off that LONG Distance to make sure my food was right. ESPECIALLY if I had had a bad experience before. But that's just me I guess.

WE ARE NOT PERFECT!!!! WE ARE HUMAN BEINGS CAPABLE OF MISTAKES!!! I hear the comment ALL the time..."That place screws up my order EVERY time I go there" .....ummmm really? So uh.....why do you continue to go back? There must be something worth going back for, because there are three other restaurants right next to it, and yet you keep choosing this one? Why? There are 5 managers and 30 employees. Do you think it is the same people every time watching you drive around and then screwing up your order because it's you? Perhaps....now stick with me.....perhaps, it is you that screws it up? How did you order your food, was it really fast? Did you allow proper time for the employee to catch everything? Was your radio turned down or did you leave it up for the crew to hear whatever it was you were listening to? Did you bother to open your window? (yeah this happens), Was your kid screaming bloody murder in the back seat? It's kind of difficult to hear over that. How about your passenger, were they talking to you at the same time, because yes, we hear them too. How about your cell phone, were you having a conversation with someone while ordering? Did you perhaps forget to request a sauce? Did you happen to forget to request ketchup? Did you happen to order a specialty burger and not realize it doesn't have pickles on there to begin with and that's why you don't have pickles on your sandwich? Did you just assume that the person taking your order was a psycic and could read your mind that you wanted no salt fries?

We had a call a few years ago, this woman was screaming at the manager because her kids wanted bar-b-que sauce with their nuggets and they didn't get it. Our manager asked if she had requested bar-b-que sauce for those nuggets to which she snapped back "No, it's supposed to come with the nuggets" Really? Should we choose one sauce out of the 6 we have to just throw in the bag for only 42% of the population who enjoys the bar-b-que? Do other restaurants just give you bar-b-que, I doubt it.

It's the little things like this that really drive me up the wall. Why can't people just take a step back and think before they act. Don't treat this person who is PREPARING THE FOOD YOU EAT like crap. I know at Wendy's we make the food as ordered and everyone working on your food can hear you order. Do you want to take the chance that your sandwich maker is a safe and clean person? Or do you want to take the chance that they put no value on the job and could care less if you get sick? I'm not using that as a threat, but you have to realize this is a minimum wage job, some of these people don't put alot of thought into their work. You have people that were making nearly a dollar over minimum wage and took pride in going far, that had been there for two years and cared that suddenly are making the same as the 16 year old that got hired yesterday. What would that say to you? How would you feel? Would you care anymore about your job?

These people are just that, they are people. They are your kids, they are your neighbors kids, your grandkids, your nieces or nephews. They are your classmates, they are your friends and they are the people paid to prepare you burgers that only cost .99 cents. If these people were to all get "real" jobs where would that leave you? That's right, at home in your own kitchen preparing your own food. Take a minute and put yourself in their shoes. They don't work for tips, they get paid the same. How much crap would you be willing to take at that job? Do you think you could make 150 sandwiches in an hour and not make a mistake? Do you think you could take a $25 order on a complex register system without making a mistake? Do you think you could clean an entire restaurant from top to bottom while preparing $300 worth of orders at the same time? Do you really think it's that easy? There is more skill to these jobs than most people realize, don't be so hasty at the window.

So if the person handing out your order has a blank stare on their face maybe it's not all about you, maybe they had a death in the family, maybe they are not feeling well, maybe they just got screamed at by the customer ahead of you, maybe they are having a bad day. Are you 100% smiley and chipper at your job, or have you had a bad day too? Have you ever made a mistake? Have you ever pushed the wrong button? Have you ever had obsenities screamed at you because the company you work for discontinued a menu item? Have you ever been called a bitch because the company had to raise their prices? Have you ever served a drunk biligerant S.O.B? Have you ever been called a fat ass for no reason at all? What makes you superior to these people? What is it that makes you better?

Just take a minute and try to remember all of that when you place your order. Remember the people in that building are working at 11pm on a Friday night, that their friends are out having a good time and you were just out having a good time, because it's because of people like the people in the restaurant that you can get 2 double cheese burgers and a kids fry for $2.97 and absorb the alcohol you just had on your way home.

Because if you're an ass and have an open container, or reak of alcohol......some of us love to get your licence plate number, watch you leave and call 1-800-grab-DUI. It's so much fun.

Myspace Blog

What a lovely weekend!! I just reviewd my last blog to see how long it's been, and it hasn't been that long! Woot! Go me. ; )

So this weekend I worked on Friday, big surprise, but it was pretty painless. Had a decent night so I can't complain. It started out pretty rough, but it did get better so I should just shut up. But it does bring up some interesting points I'd like to rant and rave about, but I'll save that for blogger. Let me just break it down for you on here. Fast Food was not designed to be the most amazing bountiful pleasent experience everyone seems to think it should be. These drama filled teenagers are paid $7/hour to work after a full day of drama filled school and serve cheap food to ungrateful people who are usually pretty nasty. If you don't recieve a smile, get over it. Take your $1.98 worth of food and go home and get over it. I'm sorry we didn't do cartwheels in your honor, or put up a plaque for the $1.98 you just spent and bitched about too. They do their jobs, take your food, go home and leave us alone. They freakin teenagers for crying out loud!!!! $1.98 does not buy you 5 star service, it will get you $1.98 worth of service, it's a fact of life, learn to deal with it.

O.K. so anyway, Saturday was a pertty boring day around here. We got a very large portion of the store painted, but no one will know until it's done, but the nosey people sure feel they have a right to know what's happening, but I don't tell them. ; ) Then after a long excrusiating night of the store I closed up and went to dinner with Free and Charro to Don Pablos in Toledo. If one thing could make a great dinner better....it's eating it with great friends. ; ) Had a good time, came back and chilled on the sofa with them for a bit until they went home. Then I did some computer junk and went to bed. Not really exciting, but it was nice.

Sunday I actually got up and went to church. I was very proud of myself. Church was actually very good, many of my usual strange church feelings weren't there this week so all was good. Went to dinner with the folks and then cleaned my bedroom. I moved furniture finally, two years with the furniture in one place is too much for me. I'm so happy with it!!! If only I could do that good of a job with the living room! I'm working on it, it's a work in progress. The bedroom though feels so much bigger and cleaner and brighter and I feel so much better about it! Woot! go me! Then I ended the day by going to work, oh joy, oh rapture. But it was an alright night. Pretty slow, but we got done and got out of there.

That was pretty much the weekend rap up, how sad. ; ) It's o.k. it was good for me. lol.

Today has been pretty dull, but I think we've got alot of planning done for the latest space we're working on. Now I just need money. I need to knock off a liquor store I think. hmmm.....nah, not worth it.

The bowling team I sponsor got first place in a tournament!!! I'm very excited and yet I keep wondering how it is that we got last place in the first half of leagues. hmmm..... I'm hoping they are warmed up now and ready to bowl! I am quickly backing myself out of the league, it costs me so much money the weeks I bowl and I suck, it just takes the fun out of it! Oh well, they'll be fine, I might bowl one or two more weeks yet this season, but we'll see.

Well that's really all there is too it. I'm not a very exciting person. Sorry to bore you. ; ) Maybe someday I'll have something fun and exciting to say again. Or maybe a whacked out blog like I used to do, things that are random and quite funny. Maybe......someday.....

Monday, January 28, 2008

Myspace blog

Mohring's did not do well with the Shop till you Drop extravaganza, in fact no one did. I do believe this is what happens when a south side business tried to participate with something happening downtown. We just don't mix, it's like oil and water.

Lets see what else.....

We'd like to welcome the latest addition to the Mohring's complex: Hoop's Accounting! Jon Hoops, owner, moved into the recently renovated space in the front of the store, the former location of the school clothes and has begun his tax season in a new home. Hoop's Accounting has been around for nearly 12 years now and is growing every year. He does great taxes and very reasonable, he's been gathering new customers from the store already! I invite you to check him out. His number is 419-592-1115.

We are holding meetings with a few interested parties of the space in the rear of the store, we are hoping to have it filled by the end of the year, making the building full. We will then have four businesses located in one location, it will be great for one stop shopping.

Other than that we've been keeping busy with funeral orders as well as a few large catered events. Nothing hot, just our meat and cheese trays and salads and such. So far our largest has been 300 people. We're always looking for more challenges so spread the word! We beat the original caterer by over 60%, I'm very happy with that, and so was the client. Bring on the challenges!

We are running a tight ship and trying to grow the selection every week, but some weeks are a little more difficult than others. We look forward to meeting new people and doing more work for the people here.

Here's to a great 2008.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

This week's post secret


Yes, quiet shy me does this. I have to wait until I hang up because I don't have a hold button that I can figure out, but yes, you piss me off and I say some funny things to you after I hang up. I don't know a single customer service person that doesn't.

Last week's post secret


I'm not twenty anymore which makes this feeling even worse, but I do feel like I'm running out of time already. I'm still so young and yet I feel like time is nearly up already. I feel like I'm no where yet, like I have accomplished nothing.

It's been too long (again)

I can't believe it's been 11 days since my last blog, I'm horrible!! How do you people put up with me? Seriously, how? I don't deserve you, I really don't. I'm just going to leave now in shame......

yeah right, you can't get rid of me that easy.

So I'm not really sure why I've been neglecting blogging lately, it's really become a time issue. Somehow my time is getting less and less. My laundry is piling up, my blogging is behind and my check list in the store is falling behind as well. I'm not sure where all my time is going as customers haven't really been an issue. Business is not the greatest in the store, but it isn't the greatest anywhere in town so it's not just me, it's the ecomony in general. Can we all say recession? It's going to be a rough year, I can feel it.

So this weekend I took two entire days off of all jobs and went to Cinci. I had such an awesome time and relaxed so much I felt stupid! I lost vocabulary out of my head and the ability to construct solid thoughts. It was crazy. D and B offered to drop me off at a carry out for a few hours to regain my mind, but I declined, I just let myself be a bit stupid. ; ) It was magnificent, it was relaxing to feel like a human being again, I loved it, I need to do it more often. I'm already planning a trip in February, but to where is still a bit of a mystery, I have two places in mind and have to figure out which one will work the best.

While in Cinci D, B and I all went to the Creation museum. I had never heard of it but found it very interesting. It's a museum based on the differences between science and religion ideas on the history of the planet and space as a whole. While I wanted to bang my head against the wall in portions of the museum because of how insane their theories were they are their own theories. I guess I should let everyone believe what they want, no matter how much I disagree with the idea. Oh well, to each their own. It was definately interesting.

The rest of the weekend was some pretty basic hanging out time, but I had such a great time. I got to spend some good quality time laughing with good friends, how much better could life get? I just can't put to words how awesome the weekend was.

On Sunday D and I went with B to her church which she absolutley LOVES! I can see why. Why it was a bit more contemporary than I'm used to the people seemed really great and the message was fantastic. It was very comfortable after I got used to the differences and the energy in there was incredible. You just can't turn away from energy like that, I can see why she likes it so much. I had a hard time diving into the energy because I'm still working on a few internal religous issues, but I realized that even those issues are starting to get better. The more I read, the more I research and the more I contemplate, the easier things are getting, the more I am opening up to some new things.

So being in the city once again got me thinking. The more time I spend in the city the more I think, it's good and bad. It's got me in a train of thought I'm not sure where it will end. I'm disecting different aspects to this thought train and trying to understand it, but I feel it's going to shape my future. Nothing that could happen very soon, but my future seems to be getting a bit clearer.

So I'm all over the place mentally, but it's all in good directions for once, it's a nice change of pace. I noticed even that the pope posted a blog, it has been awhile since we've spoken, I should call him and see what kind of meeting we can set up.

The front room/ new rental is now complete and my uncle has moved in and started seeing clients. Magically my brother has pulled it off again. I'm not sure where it comes from but he builds my visions and does it well. Yes with a bigger budget we could have done a few things differently but it's such an awesome space, I'm going to try and post some pics this week when I get a moment, but with my work schedule this week I'm not sure it will be possible. But I promise I'll try.

So anyway that's pretty much been it. We had some big orders and plentiful orders last week so that kept me pretty busy as well. It was good to keep busy other than the store customers, it's what is nearly paying the bills this month, now I need a few more for next month. ; ) It's tax time and money is tight. It's like this every January/ February so I should be used to it by now right? Well, no I'm not, but I'll survive, I'll find a way to get through it.

So that's really all for now. Just wanted to check in and appologize for being so bad about updates, I'll try to get better, I'll try and have a few more exciting things happen so I have something to entertain you with. ; )


Sunday, January 20, 2008

Another one down

It's been awhile since I've updated this blog, mostly because of time and a physical accident that happened that restricted my use of one of my typing fingers and put a damper on all updates to any of my blogs. But it's getting better and I'm back.

So this weekend I finally took some time off and went to see my friends B and D. They live a few hours from me and I was so excited to go down there. I had told B about being gay a few months ago. She's become a spiritual advisor to help me bridge the gap in my heart between who I am and the part that holds my faith and how I view myself in that faith.

B has been on be since then to tell D. I have known D. for many years and we have had a very "manly" relationship and he's met both of my ex's from my hetero relationships and I was kind of nervous how he would take the news. I knew deep down he would be o.k. with it, but there was a part of me that was so afraid to tell him. He had come into town a few weeks ago to visit me and I chickened out in telling him and B was a bit disappointed, but she understood and supported me.

So this weekend we were all together, B had given me some books to help with the religious aspect of my life, the one properly called "God is not a homophob" I was reading them the night before D came over to meet us and purposely left them out for him to see to provoke a conversation, but it didn't work. So we went out for our day of fun and there were about 3000 opportunities that came up in conversation but I shyed away from each opportunity and it began to drive me crazy. I wanted to tell him when we would have a chance to talk about it when it was time, but we wouldn't have that opportunity with where we were at.

So later that night we moved some books around while he was in the restroom and I know he saw the books and was curious but he wouldn't say anything, and then it happened. He looked over durring a quiet moment in conversation and read the title of the book. I looked at him and asked him: "Are you curious about the books at all?"
D: No this is B's house, I expect things like this.
Me: Well they aren't B's, they are mine
D: Oh really? Doing some research?
Me: yeah kind of, I've been having problems dealing with it.
quiet silence.....
Me: Are the pieces falling into place or should I spell it out for you?
awkward silence and a little staring....
Me: D, I'm gay.
D: Seriously? Are you shitting me?
Me: No D, I'm serious, I'm really gay.
Me: Are you o.k. with that?
D: You're putting me on, right?
Me: No, I'm dead serious, how do you feel about it?
D: Seriously?
Me: Yes
D: That's cool. Do I say congratulation? (Laughing)
Me: I'm not sure, I just want to make sure you're going to be o.k. with this.
D: I'm fine dude, I'm happy for you.

There was some more conversation about it, I told him to ask me any questions he wanted and I answered them, they were the obvious, when did you know type questions. It was a bit easier than I thought it would be. He was very internal at times, but he was trying to process the information, he's like that. Later when we ran to the store I went out to smoke and start the car and later B told me he was very concerned if he handled it alright because he really was o.k. with it and wanted to make sure he got that idea across to me. It made me feel really good.

So besides this story, since christmas I went to visit another friend of mine up north, but didn't tell her, I could barely get a word in edgewise the whole time we were together so there wasn't time to tell her. I'll tell her when I go see her again next month.

The other big decision I came to is to begin thinking about selling my business. I have never known if I would retire here or not, it's still about 30 years away but I decided I'm not sure I want to spend another 5 years here. I'm not meant to live in a small town, I'm meant for a bigger and more understanding city. I'm not sure where that will be yet, it will depend on the work situation when I'm ready to sell and when it sells.

I still have my educated trade to fall back on, and I really miss it, so I know I'll go back into the profession I spent so many years in school training for. I really do miss it. Like I said I'm not sure where I'm going, but I know now I need to go. I miss the stability of a regular paycheck, vacation time etc... What I'm missing the most so far is open minded people and a larger gay population, not that that is always a good thing, but I need to be around more, in a place where it's a little more tolerated than the closed minded town I'm in right now.

It's a hard decision because I'll be leaving my family once again, but this is not a place to live a life for me, I'll never feel right here and I'll never like I've acomplished anything in this place. There are parts I'll miss and parts I won't, but I have to do this for me.

Well that's enough for tonight, I'm going to wrap this up for now.

Friday, January 11, 2008

This week's post secret


I too am jealous, I need to buy one of his books, these are great!!!

A blog from myspace

Wow, I hope I remember everything I've wanted to talk about!

I have just been so busy I haven't had the time to blog! So last weekend I took a few hours off and drove to Michigan to meet with L and S for dinner. Dinner was just the best as always! Besides being a little more than fashionably late things went great. It was so great to see the girls again! It had been three years since I had seen S and nearly two years since I had seen L. We had an awesome time and then after dinner we headed back to S's house.

I fell in love with her house and we sat and chatted, we caught up, watched some movies, watched S pass out and L and I were up to all hours of the morning talking, about nothing in particular, just talking. S is quite the host and quite the decorator! So anyway the next day after saying goodbye I headed back to my old stomping grounds of Novi, Milford and South Lyon. I didn't get to hit Southfield this time, I'd like to see campus again.

When I was in Michigan I was reminded about the life in a city that I missed, life in it's self. The streets were loaded with people, activity everywhere and so much to do!! It's not so much the fact of stuff to do it was always the option of having something to do. I don't like to go out all the time, but having the option was always great. I always felt great going to get take out and walking to the place to pick it up and be around people, seeing activity, it's something I miss so much. On the streets of Ferndale were people of every race, mentality and look, it was so great. I felt alive. Alot of that probably had to do with the company I had with me, but I actually missed living that close to activity. Then I look around here and even in the middle of the day you can't find activity anywhere other than Wal-Mart. Would I move back to Michigan? No, sorry, but I just couldn't bring myself to do that. but what it did help me realize is that I'm not meant to retire here, I'm not meant to spend the rest of my days here. I don't know when my time here will be meant to end, but when the time is right it will happen. It was such a strange realization. I have time to decide if it's a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence" or if it's true feelings.

So anyway a big part of what has been happening to me was left out. On Saturday I was cleaning my meat slicer (anyone want to guess what I'm about to say?) and yes I sliced my finger, pretty bad. It took a nice chunk out of my index finger which has made typing quite interesting to say the least. I've gotten much better, I learned to wrap the bandage in a way I can use my finger tip to type. ; ) But it's one of the reasons I haven't blogged in nearly a week! It just hurt to damn much to keep hitting it on a key. But it's getting better. My nurse aunt said it's healing very well. ; )

So we finally finished the rental space! The electrical inspection went very smooth and I got some good advice on future work. It was much easier than I had ever thought. There is still some basic paperwork I need to take care of, but my uncle can move in. He's already started and tomorrow he's going to be doing a majority of it. I've been so incredibly busy with a 300 person catering order I haven't really been able to really enjoy much of anything. I spent two solid days cooking, slicing and preparing food for this order and the check made it all worth it. Oh so worth it. ; ) I think I could get alot of work out of it too, the 300 people that ate the food all drive past this place to go to work and on their way home from work. Yeah!

Lets see, what else.... With the additional renter in the building the opportunity arose to upgrade the internet service here as well as....ready?......I HAVE CABLE!!!!! It was installed today and I'm LOVING it. The first show I watched tonight was Alice! I'm not sure if any of you remember the old show, but I loved it on syndication when I was growing up. I also got to watch a full hour of Who's the boss! yeah I'm the only person that gets cable to watch shows nearly as old as he is! I'm strange I know, but you gotta love me!

Today I also had to replace two tires (again) It caused some serious mental issues. In one day I had to spend an entire paycheck from two weeks. I just deposited the thing this morning and as of 5 o'clock it was gone. Even more than gone and I've got to survive another two weeks yet. I think it's a good week for the business to pay me. ; ) Not the greatest time as the first three months of the year are always the roughest with lack luster sales as well as renewing licence and fees. But I'll make it, somehow I always do.

So next weekend I'm going to Cincinnati. Finally. I had to cancel my last trip because of work related problems at Wendy's and help related problems for the store, but I have every base covered, I will take the weekend off and live a life. I'll be leaving here on that Friday night and not returning until Sunday night. I haven't done that in nearly a year! How sad is that? Try to imagine that sometime!! I'm so excited I can hardly wait! I think everything is finally in place.

So anyway, how are all of you? I've been all over the place mentally. Tomorrow I'm going to get through my store and get some things organzied and cleaned up. In the last few weeks things have gotten out of hand and it's been driving me crazy it will be a good time to get my head clear as well as get the store to look better. I'm ready for the year and hope it brings in the kind of money this past week did! Not so much from the in store sales, but the invoice sales have been great! it's like having an addition 4 days of business in a week! Woot!

So anyway, that's the update, cable has me feeling too good to be all sappy and depressive to have a truely thoughtful and provoking blog. Sorry if that's what you're expecting. maybe tomorrow or so I'll get deep in thought and do something on blogger. If anyone is interested in the address of that blog, just let me know, I'll point the way. ; )

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Post Secret I relate to this week


This is my mind, nuff said.

A blog based on myspace blog...

So I was watching I am Legend and had a thought. What would I do if I woke up one day and realized I was the only person alive?

You know what my first thought was? Hmmm.... I'd probably run naked through town, why? well really, why not? It's wierd I know, but don't judge me. ; )

How do you really know that you are the only one alive? What would you do? Would you have the courage to examine all the buildings to see if you were the only one alive? I don't think I would. I would be a hermit, I've seen too many horror movies to go into dark buildings alone and travel through the country trying to get somewhere! So what would you search for?

In the movie, Will Smith makes the statement, "There is no god" I was a little floored by that statement, but at the same time I think, in that situation, would my faith be there for me? Would my faith still be there if the rest of the world was gone? How strong is my faith? How far will my faith take me? Where is the line in the sand of where my faith keeps me safe to the point I would abandon my faith? I would hate to think there would ever be a situation that would destroy my faith, or abandon my faith, but could there be a situation bad enough to make that happen?

My faith is tested daily, nearly every minute. Every new person I meet seems to have another idea of faith and religion. To me this is such a great thing and makes me question my faith and at the end makes it stronger. I feel I have been tested so much in the last few years of adulthood and each sitation makes me stronger. Each new person is a part of me and brings out something new in me. But when will be the true test. In my heart I know the answer, well at least I think I do, and that situation scares me more than anything I think I can imagine, and when that day comes I can only hope and pray that my faith will keep me whole.

The past year has taken me down a religious and faith roller coaster. In the new year I feel a bit stronger, I still feel like I'm drowning in questions and I'm always in search for an answer, but yet the other day I realized the only person that can give me the answer I'm looking for is God himself. How can I keep searching for answers I know I'll never find? I will continue to question and find more resources to help me understand my issue and maybe help me understand just what it is I'm hoping to find, acceptance in the eyes of God.

To become understanding enough to allow someone to love me, to make myself understand that I am worth of love, that I am a good person and am allowed to love and that I am imperfect in so many ways and yet no matter how imperfect I am or even think of myself being, that God is there to love me and guide me. God created me in his own image, who am I to say that it is wrong?

I rewatched the movie "Saved" the other day and there was a line that struck me like lightning. Well I can only assume as I have never been struck by lightning! ; )

"Why would God go through the trouble of making us all different if he wanted us all to be the same?"

Believe it or not that statement made me feel so good that night I slept like a baby, I fell asleep feeling like a million bucks.

Someday I'll believe it for more than a mere hour or two.

A blog from myspace

Well well well, it's 2008. How have you been since last year? I'm doing well. What does the bringing of the new year mean to me? Not much really, it's just another day. But on the other hand it's much like a fresh start in a way. It's new numbers for the business, new times and times for trial and error (again).

So what did I do for new years eve you ask? Nothing. I worked the store until seven, things were quite a bit better than last year so I was happy. Then I got ready and went to Wendy's. How fun huh? We got closed and on my way home I stopped at rented Spiderman 3 and then came home and opened a bottle of wine, got into some really comfortable clothes and sat down and relaxed, all by myself. It sounds so pittiful but it really wasn't. It was nice. I didn't have to get up in the morning and I recieved so many phone calls throughout the night I went to bed feeling totally loved and at peace with the world. It was a good night.

Lets see, what else... Oh yes Yesterday I got another visit from my favorite person from North Carolina, my Genia!! She hung out for a bit and we laughed and we joked and then she ran off to have fun on NYE. It's such a strange situation that we are so similar and yet before the last year or so we never would have known it. Technology is amazing.

So tonight Scott and I went and saw "I am Legend" the first 3/4 of this movie was everything that was promised and I hoped for. Great acting, pretty good story and then WHAM. Sucky ending. How sad. A great movie foiled again by such a poor ending, I guess in some eyes it could be a good ending, but it just wasn't what I was hoping for, nothing that seemed to make sense. I wouldn't spend another 8 bucks to see it again, but I may buy it when it's on the 7.99 rack at Wal-Mart.

So that's really it, I'm not sure why I felt the need to blog about that, but oh well, whatever. Oh wait, this weekend I'm going to Michigan! Oh sad that I'm excited about that! ; ) I'm meeting up with L and S, it will be good to see them again. Yeah! go us! So something to look forward to.

Here's to a great 2008! Hey! I'm a poet and didn't even know it!