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Showing posts from December, 2008

I'm still alive

For those that read this and no other blog, I'm still alive! Between the store, my other work schedule, and the house I'm working on I'm just plain exhausted to post much these days. I've been sick and the only babble that comes out when I talk sounds like a bunch of whining, and I don't even want to listen to it! lol. But I promise hopefully I'll get to a post before next year...aka Thursday, but I'm not promising, it's going to be pretty crazy between now and then yet too! Better get back to work. miss you all!

The heart

Why is it that it is always when you're sick and you're run down that the heart cries the most? Is it self pitty while being sick? Or could it be your needs are most exposed and you feel even more alone than any other time? This cold/upper respiratory infection has been dragging me along for only a few days now and it seems my heart is crying more now than ever before. Not just for someone to make me soup, or to put their cool hands on my warm forehead, but it cries for God, it cries for companionship, and it seems to point out all my downfalls of late. It points out what's missing in my life, but I don't have the energy or mental capacity to take stock or work on it. I hate being sick, have I mentioned that?

A very Merry Christmas

Besides being exhausted from a very busy week, I'm very happy with Christmas, I wish I had closed for tomorrow as well as I'm really not done enjoying my holiday. :) It's a short post because I have yet to wrap presents for my family when we get together tomorrow night, but I did get to attend a small dinner party with what I thought was the one gay couple in town, turns out they know the other gay couple in town. It was a freaking riot. I laughed so hard I nearly cried! I'm sure I have more to say, but I need to start wrapping.

Merry Christmas!

I wanted to post and wish everyone a very Merry Christmas this year. May the season bring you love and happiness.......and some fun stuff too. lol. I would also like to share a couple of stories with you to start out the holiday right. TRUE story #1: And gentleman came into the store this morning and the following conversation took place: customer: Oh you have Tamales! (reading the package) Pork Tamales by Tia's Mexican Food Me: they sell really well customer: Do they have pork in them? Me: stunned silence......uh, yes, that's why they are called Pork Tamales customer: Oh, I just thought it might be a clever name, do you make them? Me: stunned silence, mouth slightly agape......uh no, that would be Tia's Mexican Foods customer: oh, I thought that was part of the name. Me: sounds of me slamming my head in the cooler door. yes, things like this really happen. TRUE story #2. This took place last week just as my mother finished our christmas wish on our reader board out in fron

Party Party Party

Last night was our manager's Christmas party where the managers at Wendy's all go out for dinner and drinks. It's a new tradition we started last year and it turns out really well. We never all get together to do anything, so once a year we get together and catch up and swap notes as well. We always have a good time and this year was no different. Afterwords we went to Scott's for the after party and had a good time as well. We played some beer pong and then made our way into drama central. I just sat in the corner and talked to Jobe and we avoided as much of it as possible. lol. We did end up having some good conversation later on, which doesn't happen too often, but is always good when it happens. It was a LONG night/ early morning, but it was worth it. Today I went out Christmas shopping finally. I got it all done.....I think?.?.? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm done. Now I just have to start wrapping. I did happen to shop a little for myself with some g

I told him.....again.

It wasn't how I ever planned it, but the build up was there and there was a smoking hot guest. Even after the events of the week I told S again. I don't know if he'll remember, but I'm so tired of hiding it from him, I think when we go shopping tomorrow I'll bring it up.....maybe. Alcohol right now says I'll bring it up, but tomorrow I may feel differently. I've wanted to tell him, I've hinted around about it. His reaction was not quite what I was expecting, but I have a feeling he's known all along. What I didn't tell him was about my 15 year obsession with him. That is better left unsaid as the obsession is slowly going away. I want him to know as one of my best friends, and I know he'd understand, but we don't talk like that all that much unless alcohol is involved. Damn that smoking hot guest to bring that side out of me, well actually two of them. It was too much for me to handle with alcohol. Before I left for this party I said thi

Can he be trusted with alcohol?

So last night I found out that S broke another promise to me. He convinces me when he's sober to trust him with certain things and then after he starts drinking he becomes very open about not only his life, but with my life as well. The results of this latest escapade is probably for the better, but it puts me in an awkward position. I want to tell him I'm gay so bad because he's one of my best friends, but at the same time, I know that if we're drinking in the wrong crowd it will come spewing out of his mouth to all the wrong people at just the wrong time. it's just really been getting to me lately. I need to talk to him about it and get this cleared up before I do something or say something that would destroy me. Oh, I thought by now the problems with alcohol wouldn't be so relevant in my life anymore, but I guess it takes longer for people around here to grow out of it. What else is there to do really?

problems

I feel so guilty and morally bankrupt for the thoughts that have run through my head in the last three hours. I'm so bad, and yet I can't stop myself. I'm not sure how to stop it, well I know how to, but I'm not sure that's the answer. I'm never sure what to tell myself.

Anger

I have decided today that I really need to get my anger under control, just not sure how to do it. Example: I was taping up the furnace distribution box when a customer came in. A customer that I rely on to pay my bills which are not getting paid in recent weeks, do I jump at the chance and run up there to help them? No, I chuck a trash can across the room and swear like a sailor under my breath all the way up to the counter on the other end of the store and put on my happy face, all the while screaming inside my head. Yes, I just took my anti-anxiety medicine, I'm hoping it will kick in soon. I've got issues. I'm starting to think I don't belong here anymore. Or I just need sleep, it's been a long week of no sleep and so much activity, it feels as if my two days away this past weekend was a year ago. Just needed to get that out of me.

Oy

I have so many thoughts running around in my head right now, perhaps that's why my temples are throbbing in pain. Or it could be sinus issues. Either way I'm thinking this is not the time to dive into these issues, I'm down and not feeling up to par, so the entire post would be nothing but whining, and I'm not even in the mood to listen to myself whine. lol. Now if I can get these customers to shut the heck up, I'll be all set. It's been unusually busy and it's not helping the mood. Come on mood enhancers, kick in already!!! :)

Finally a chance to post.

The last couple of weeks have been a whirlwind of traveling and activity. I have loved it all, but it has exhausted me and yet relaxed me. A week ago on Saturday I traveled to B's house to surprise her for her party and it worked. That night I finally met people I had heard so much about and gotten to know over the internet (that's a shout out to J!) and I had so much fun. I often imagine what my life will be like in Cincinnati when I'm down there, and as I sat in the living room at B's having this adult sometimes hilariously childish conversation I wished I could have that more often. It's something that I don't get a lot of around here anymore. I do have a couple of friends that help me achieve that, I just don't always have the time to get together with them. What I felt so drawn to in that room was the fact that everyone there was secure. They knew who they were, they knew who each other were, and it was all good. I felt secure in saying things I want

What a week.

Well it's been quite the week, so much of a week that I hardly had time to post or read up on anything. I feel like I'm so far behind on everything! But honestly I'll get back into it all, it happens this time of year. I had a rough week with lots of orders and things to get done and while it was good, it was just so exhausting! But it's over, it's a new week and after such a refreshing weekend I'm ready to take on the next week. This week I had to prepare 19 fruit baskets for the fire department. It's been a lot of scheduling and ordering and such, the baskets are filled with things I don't carry in the store, which isn't always a good idea, but it makes me money, but I do what I can. It took quite a few days of planning and such, and was rather nerve wrecking, but the pay off was worth it. This weekend I had the pleasure and the great opportunity to take a day off and head to Cleveland to visit with my cousin and his family. It was also the f

A good video

At a point in my life, not too long ago, I had greater respect for Huckabee than I did for Stewart. While I realize this is only ONE issue, the things said regarding this ONE issue is enough for me to think twice about who I respect over another. Hearing these things from him now, I never would have voted for him during the primaries. I have a longer post coming, I promise, but this week has just been hellish and once I get everything accomplished and get a free moment, I'll update the few that read this. Just thought I would provide some entertainment for now. ;) Hey, it's better than elevator music! The Daily Show With Jon Stewart M - Th 11p / 10c Mike Huckabee Pt. 2 Barack Obama Interview John McCain Interview Sarah Palin Video Funny Election Video Video found at About a Boy

Blessed

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So much has happened and so little updates, I know, I'm sorry. You'll either get over it, or you'll just delete my blog from your favorites.....I know how presumptuous of me to assume I'm on your favorites, but hey, it's my blog, I'll dream all I want. LOL. First of all, my truck. From the looks it's not really all that much to look at for most people, but I'm so happy with it. We need to fix the brake light and a few other cosmetic things, but it has less miles than my car, and runs better than my car. It's rather shocking really. We have big plans for the truck, my uncle wants to give it a fresh coat of paint, I just want to install my stereo and put my new seat cover on and start driving it! It has an extended bed, so it has the bed of a full size truck, which I love. I've already used the truck to haul the other thing I was blessed with last week. So Thursday I got a phone call from my mother. Seems there was a member of our church who w

I should think before I rant.

I was just ranting a little in my head about how no one has been updating blogs lately. It wasn't directed all at those of you who read this, but at the 50 or so blogs I read from time to time. Honestly I can never get to all 50 in one sitting, but I've run out of material, and then I realized it's been almost a week since I blogged last. Who knew that Thanksgiving could make a person so busy! So Thanksgiving was a wonderful day, it was exhausting with WAY too much food, but it all went so well. I buried my head in the morning and went with my parents to have dinner with my dad's side of the family. We don't have a good history with them and if you ask my brother or sister if they wanted to go, they'd both answer with a solid "Why on earth would I want to go and share a holiday with "those" people?" But the first year I had decided not to go my Grandmother appeared in nearly all my dreams telling me how disappointed she was that I wasn'