Saturday, November 8, 2008

A few topics

So Proposition 8 was passed in California, Proposition 2 in Florida passed, as well as an adoption ban in Arkansas was passed with this past election. What does this all mean? While it does not directly affect me as they are in different states, there are currently 26 states with similar statutes in place. It makes me sit back and wonder, what's next? What is everyone so afraid of? That two people who love each other might actually be happy? That somehow if the gay couple that lives down the street were to get married it would make their own heterosexual marriage weaker?

I've heard a lot of arguments for this. The biggest one I've heard over the last two years or so is that if every gay couple were to be allowed to get insurance benefits, it would cost a fortune. But if these people were straight and married, their family plans wouldn't cost as much? If this is the case I would suggest a lesbian couple get together with a gay male couple, marry each other, live out their lives and get all the insurance they can. If they would provide insurance to the straight couples, what's the problem with providing them for the gay couples of the world. I see no difference.

As far as I'm concerned, the government should not be talking about marriage at all. To the government all marriages should be unions. Two adults should be able to legally bind themselves together for all the reasons, taxes, insurance, visitation rights, etc... Leave the marriage talk to the churches. If you would like to be joined in Holy matrimony, then the churches will take care of that. If the churches don't want to marry gay people...well that's a whole other issue, separation of church and state sound familiar to anyone? People scream in the streets about the issue, but when it comes to marriage, they jump the fence to the other side, why?

I fail to see what is so scary about two people that love each other wanting to be recognized as a couple in a union by the government. Why is it anyone else's business? Would it affect their rights? Would it affect their home? Would it affect their taxes? I think the next vote should be to ban marriage completely from the government, I want to start protesting weddings as a whole.

This whole issue is just a slap in the face to gay rights. It sets a precedent that can now be used in every other state to strip the rights of gay individuals away from them. Why? I just don't understand what is so scary about homosexuals, will someone please explain it to me. Every homophobe I've ever met I've asked them to explain why they are so afraid, and no one can give me a logical answer. I have never heard a good answer as to why it is so horrible. One of the scare tactics used in California was telling everyone that they would be required to teach their young children about homosexual marriages....ummm....why? And what's different? What are you telling your young children to begin with? What do they need to know about marriage from their school teachers? "Two people love each other, they have a ceremony, and then they live together" is that bad?

Is it because they're afraid their kids will learn about gay sex? Well I learned all about gay sex from my biology teacher in middle school. No one was traumatized, no one was suspended from teaching, no one even said anything, except for a few snickers here and there, but we had that when we had sex ed in general. So where's the problem? Gay couples are not inviting you into their bedrooms to watch, I just don't understand.

Oh yes, there is the sanctity of marriage....really? sanctity? That's the word you want to use, when young "icons" like Brittany Spears run off to Vegas to do illicit drugs and alcohol and gets married at a chapel.....that kind of sanctity? Or how about the mass of reality t.v. shows where you get married at the end.....that kind of sanctity? Please define your stand point on sanctity, because it's a bit muddled to this mind. To me marriage has always been when two people love each other so much they want to stand up in front of their friends and family and declare their love and devotion to one another to the world. I don't EVER remember anyone saying man and woman. People say it's because those were different old do you think homosexuality is? It's been around since the beginning of time, and yet no one will accept it. Millenniums of people being forced to be who they aren't because of society.

Oh but the bible says.....yes, I've read all those arguments, but I've also read deeper, and it's not as clear as people think. There are some very good books on the subject that I find fascinating and wish more people would read. Books like The Children are Free or God is not a Homophobe , these are just two of the books out there. By the way, thank you Jake for the loan of these, they have helped tremendously to come to terms with many of my questions and concerns. I would like to buy copies of these books for my family when the time comes to come out to them. I would also like to send a copy to my pastor and discuss them with him. I'm nearly done with them....I'm a slow reader, but they are thorough and direct in addressing each of the typical verses used against the gay community.

In the midst of the discovering how much money the Mormon church has sent to support Proposition 8 there has been a lot of turmoil. There is a petition to get their tax exempt status taken away because they broke 2 rather big IRS laws while doing this, and I signed it. If they are going to provide 43% of the funding to fight this bill and effect legislation they can no longer use religion as a tax shelter. Is it fighting back out of revenge of losing? Maybe, but if you want to play the game, then play the game right. But in many of their publications they keep referring to homosexuality as a choice. I know I've talked about this over and over and over again on this blog, but for one more time.....Who would CHOOSE a life of discrimination? Who would CHOOSE to be the target of so much hate? Who?

It's easy to say something is a choice if you've never been there, if you've never lived in someone else's shoes. But until you know what it's like on the other side of this issue, I think it's arrogant to tell people it's a choice. I've heard of conversion camps where they get you to be straight That's not really what's happening. If you need to be in a camp and medicated, you're not really converting, you're changing who you are through brain washing and medication. They may think it works.....for now, but sooner or later you find you can't run from it anymore, it's who you are.

I guess with these and many issues lately I've been hitting a wall. Hitting a wall trying to understand why people are so afraid, why they are being so hurtful to other human beings, why they are so angry, and why they spend so much time and so many resources stopping something that affects them in NO way. Why? Society confuses me, but mostly they scare me. It truely scares me to think about all the civil rights problems this country has had, and we NEVER learn from them, we take two steps forward and then two steps back, never moving forward.

I don't know why I'm surprised really, it's only taken 145 years for an African American to rise to power, and it took until 1920 for women to get a voice in our government, what makes me think that gay men and women would get equal rights in my life time? When will society wake up? When will they realize what they are doing to each other? It just makes me feel like we are on a self destructive path of bigotry.

And for any homophobes that come across this by accident and are boiling over in rage right now, I'll leave you with a little picture to just put you over the top, because that's how I fell right now.

It's time to get over it.


  1. A well stated case.

    Simply put, anyone people that love each other and want to give it a go and try to make it work, deserve to be treated with respect. Period.

    And I like the pic at the end. It's kinda sexy. :-)

  2. Don't forget Arizona! They passed one too.

    Not to sound contrary or anything, but I think we're up to 30 states, and while these three new amendments may not affect you, we have one too. Passed in the general election in 2004. We were the "chosen" wedge issue to help re-elect W.

    I completely agree with the insurance argument being B.S. Everyone needs insurance, regardless of sexual preference, so denying us doesn't save any money. As a matter of fact, in a lot of cases, it costs employers MORE money in instances where they contribute to an employees health plan.

    Employee plus one plans cost less than two employee individual plans.

    My biggest gripe is that, where I work, I pay the whole premium myself (off the top of a yearly bonus package), so why shouldn't I have the option of adding Cody? It's not costing the company money.

    Not surprisingly, I'm also in agreement that the gov't should stay out of marriages as well. It's actually the way it is done in a lot of European countries. If you get married in England, you have to do it during the week when the gov't offices are open. The actual wedding ceremonies that are held on weekends with friends, family and hoopla at the church or wherever are redundant. They're two separate entities there. As well it should be.

    I also don't see the logic behind the claim that allowing gays to marry will somehow damage "traditional" heterosexual marriages. I did find a blog where a guy cited research to support the claim, but haven't had a chance to dissect it or debate it with him.


    As far as learning about gay marriage in school, I agree. I didn't learn about traditional marriage in school, so why would it be any different.

    I learned the "mechanics" of sex in health class twice. Once in Jr. High, and once in H.S. High school delved a little more into the relational aspect of it, but mostly for the emotional protections that need to be made in relationships and teaching about abuse and date rape and such. All important.

    In Jr. High, however, the "teacher" delved into homosexual intercourse. The problem is, he wasn't a teacher, so much as the beloved community leader known to generations as "Coach".

    He had his own agenda for sharing this info, as he was a "respected elder" in a particular denomination. He was doing more preaching than teaching. The sad thing is, what he taught us was 100% inaccurate. Screwed me up for years as you can imagine. Problem is, he wasn't even promoting a viewpoint that was common then. It was not out-dated misconception. It was out-right lies. These are the people who teach our children!!!

    You're welcome for the books; I'm glad they are helping. As far as sharing them with family and your pastor, I'd be interested to hear how that goes.

    I'm not so happy with the Mormon church myself at the moment, but (my opinion) I think that needs to be handled with more respect and dignity than I've been seeing/hearing/reading as of late. Some behavior leading up to the election made it difficult to admit I was a Christian in some circles. Some of the behavior since has forced me to be wary of admitting I'm a homosexual.

    The conversion camps can just be downright scary. There are some more peaceful camps that try to do the same thing, as well as programs for family members and such. Time after time though, we see the leaders of these groups embroiled in scandal when they get caught with their pants down. Sometimes literally.

    I love the pic at the end. Very sweet. The banner at the top ain't half bad either! *wink*

  3. Check this one out...

  4. I do love it when that happens. People seem to think that having freedoms only go one way. I think it's funny when they find it's a 2 way street.

    You have the right to donate and believe whatever you want, and yet the people that make you money have the same right.

    I'm glad they are standing up for themselves.

    thanks for the link by the way. :)