Monday, December 24, 2007

What a weekend!!!!

So yes, moving from online friendship to real life friendship is so easy, I have no idea why I was worried. I don't know why it makes me nervous, if I feel open enough with these people to tell them the things I tell them online, it will be the same in person. It always goes so well. When I met B, we were instantly in each other's heads and the same is with G. I had such an awesome time. B and G both I swear share my brain, no kidding, we can all finish each others thoughts, and sometimes don't have to say a thing because we know what the other is thinking. It's fantastic.

G came over Saturday around 7pm. I had thought we would watch a movie or two and catch up on old times and I figured probably crash around 1 or 2, I was wrong. We talked non stop until about 6:45am Sunday morning. The only time we stopped talking was if one of us was using the bathroom or we were mixing drinks (nearly an entire bottle of JD). We caught up on old times and had some seriously fantastic conversations about everything and anything. It was so freaking awesome to have that much conversation that didn't involve the store or Nappy town. I loved it. We both got so tired at different points, but I didn't want to end the evening, so one of us would bring up a refreshing topic and we'd keep going. One of these nights B and I are going to have a night like that too, we just never have the proper timing to be able to have the time to have a night like that. But it will happen. ; )

One bad thing that came out of the evening was how utterly exhuasted we were the next morning. She left for church (late) and I was sooo tired for my family christmas. We rented the hall that I clean to hold it, so I went early and cleaned from the night before and helped set everything up. Then as more and more people showed up I retreated to the kitchen. Of course, fat man standing in the kitchen, people just assume I'm eating. I wasn't. I was retreating from the overwhelming anxiety I was having.

As I grow older I have more and more anxiety in crowds. It's a nervous condition that seems to be handed down every few generations from my mom's side of the family. I get really tense in crowds, and feel like my mind is spinning and I can't concentrate, I just get jittery until I get out of them. Having only a few hours of sleep that night only compounded it, as well as the mass amounts of business I have had in the last few days dealing with a ton of customers who were not all very pleasent. So I hid in the kitchen, and it seemed eventually one by one they all made their way back to visit with me.

By the time we served dinner I was feeling better and rejoined the group to eat and then I started falling asleep at the table, so I had to get up and walk around outside in the FREEZING windy weather. It woke me up so I could rejoin everyone for the gift portion of the night.

My mom's side of the family is very large. Three boys, three girls, and one "step" sister. We never consider the word "step" in our family, you're either family or not. So anyway, each of my mom's brothers and sisters each of three children and then four of those have children now. And we all still have christmas together so lets see.... that's roughly fourty people of people we all know very well and love. This year we all opted out of our normal drawing names and exchanging gifts practice and spent that money on 2 things. We sent a care package filled with goodies and much needed items to a local soldier in Iraq and the money left from the package is the foundation of our family team for Relay for Life. We are going to have a family team in the next relay to support my aunt that has just finished Chemo.

We've already got a camper lined up for the event and starting to discuss who's walking when and other items we can sell to raise more money. I'm going to be selling a couple of roasters worth of prettles that night for a free will donation, and this one is the best. I'm going to put a jar up in the store, and if my customers can raise $1,000 (I think I might raise it a bit higher) I am going to let my family shave my head for Relay. My aunt is just now starting to grow her hair back and we've all talk about shaving ours in support but never got around to it. But I figured if I can raise the money for her then I'll shave my head for her just to do it. I think it will be fun.

Now I'm not sure if I've ever blogged about my feelings towards Relay for Life or not. Until recently I have had no use for the program, I have this belief that no matter what we discover there will never be a cure for cancer. Why you ask? Because it's all about money. The kind of money the health care industry makes because of this illness is so astronomical that there is no way they would want to give that up. They say they do, but they don't. I just see the FDA putting a stop to anything people come up with for a cure. But what I've realised in the last year since my aunt got sick is that it creates hope. Without hope and dreams the human race is just mindless. So I have gotten behind the cause and will do my best to raise a crap load of money for the organization because I saw how much it means to my aunt, how this group of people rallies behind these survivors and the family of the lost to provide hope, to fight the fight and at least try. How can I turn my back on that? Had it not been for the hopes and dreams of the people before us my aunt never would have survived the 5# tumor, she wouldn't be here and would have passed even before my uncle passed this summer.

So starting soon I hope people will stop by and help me raise money, I'm going to walk late at night and will probably be raising pledges for that as well, so you'll hear from me again, but if you don't want to, just help me raise the thousand dollars and shave my head. It would great fun!! I may even close the store early that Friday and open late on Saturday so I can be there even more. I'm looking forward to seeing my aunt walk the first lap as a survivor.

So anyway, that's pretty much it. I still have shopping to do for christmas tomorrow with the family and for a couple of other people, if the wallet holds out that long. Tomorrow is christmas with the fam. I love it. Tonight is my mom, dad, sister and I to open our stockings. Then tomorrow my brother and sister-in-law join us for dinner and our family gifts. Starting tonight is my favorite part of christmas. We start tonight with a candlelight service at church singing christmas hymns with a series of 12 shorter sermons and the christmas story in between. I love it.

So anyway, to all of you in cyber land......MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

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