So I told my friend G. this weekend that I was gay. I had planned on telling her but was convincing myself throughout the night that I didn't really need to, it wouldn't make a difference, so why put that into a night of fun and laughter and sharring we had. And then this conversation came about:
"So now that I have told you all my secrets from my past, the dark stuff I don't tell alot of people, what is your deepest secret?"
I just started shaking and my heart was racing and I asked if she really wanted to know, and of course she did want to know, so I told her.
"Remember the online dating situation I was blogging about a month or two ago? Well his name was Michael. I'm gay."
She had this look of shock on her face, not disgusted or hate, just shocked. We talked about it for quite awhile, and it's not as if it changed her views on me at all, but it made more sense. G hates men for many reasons, she wants to be close to them but she runs from them because of her past but she has always felt open and always shared with me and she couldn't understand what made me so different, and at that moment she figured it out. I wasn't a threat of any kind.
I have some of the most amazing friends on this planet, I'm just so sad it's taken me 30 years to find them and surround myself with them. Life is good and G is freakin awesome.