So a few minutes ago my first love came walking through my doors. What was so strange is the fact that I haven't seen her in nearly five years. She looks the same and has the same great attitude. What a strange feeling.
I loved her, I loved her with all of my heart. I tried to be who I am not to keep her happy, to get her to stay. She was the reason I lived a straight life. If we could have made it work I'd probably be married right now with her. It's a strange feeling, she tears my heart in two. On one hand I still love her, but the other part of me has moved on and has accepted who I am, and I know I'd never be happy that way again. She was my best friend, she knew things about me no one else knew, except the fact that I'm gay.
I'm just being flooded with memories right now, both good and bad, it's very confusing but it was so nice to see her and hug her again.
I still have to process this, but had to get it out of my system.