Thursday, February 3, 2011

Crazy Dream

I had a pretty horrific and crazy dream last night that I must share, I don't know why, perhaps just so I'll remember it.

The dream revolved around my dad's family which we don't speak to much anymore. My grandparents have both passed but they were alive and well in my dream. One thing I should mention is when I was a very small child my grandpa fell down a flight of stairs, the doctors didn't really know what all happened but his speech was affected so most of my life grandpa didn't talk much and was a little hard to understand.

In my dream grandpa fell again and it corrected his speech and somehow took 20 years off his face, he looked like he did in pictures I had seen. The down side to this fall is it created a split personality. The new personality was not so nice. I remember sitting in my grandparents dining room at some kind of family dinner, the room was a slightly different than what it was in real life, but I digress.....well I should mention the fantastic china hutch grandma had in the dream.....anyway.....Dinner was over and grandpa was getting up from the table and talking to me more than he ever could in real life, but we had a good conversation and grandma just smiled. He was kind of rude to everyone else in the dream but he was never rude to me, he would ask me how I was doing how life was treating me, etc...

Everything was all hunky dory but at some point when I went to the kitchen there was a situation in the living room where my grandpa was shoving around my grandmother, there were broken things and people screaming and I remember grandpa walking through the kitchen on his way out the door and just gave me this "Sorry kiddo, gotta run" kind of smile and headed out the back door.

I remember rushing to the living room, not seeing my grandma but feeling this overwhelming rush of sadness. Someone was holding up some of the things I remember from grandma's house and they were all broken and shattered and everyone was crying. This feeling of my grandma being hurt rushed over me and I was moved to tears. I suddenly became overwhelmed with anger and rushed to the garage to find my grandfather.

As I got outside he was gone but my uncle Mike was in there. Now keep in mind I haven't spoken to my ex uncle Mike in nearly 20 years and the uncle Mike in my dream was SSSOOOO hot, NOTHING like my real ex uncle. He told me that grandpa had headed down the road and he and somebody that I never identified in the dream were going out to beat the crap out him and jumped into a truck and backed out of the garage.

I walked back into the house and it was suddenly empty and I went into this room that didn't really exist in my grandparents house, but in my great aunt's house that was somehow part of my grandparents house in the dream and sat in grandma's old chair and tried to replay the events of the dream and feeling the anger rush through my veins at my grandpa.

I awoke from the dream in a panic tangled in my sheets from tossing and turning and for the first time ever was glad to remember that he had died so it all had to have been a dream. I remembering thinking how awful it felt to be glad to remember he was gone, but what a relief it felt at the same time.

I don't know what it means, and I'm not sure I want to know, all I know is that I shouldn't eat Applebees so close to bed time.

seriously.

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