Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Well, it's started.

Yes, I contacted the guy from the dating website. He seems like a really nice guy. So far he seems pretty pleased with me as well. I can't help but get my hopes up about the whole thing, I imagine him when I'm alone. When I'm laying in bed clutching my pillow I pretend it's him. It's way too much thinking at this point, I mean we haven't even met. But we seem alike in a lot of ways.

I'm not sure when I will meet him, and I'm already worried about it. What if he doesn't like me? What if my size scares him off after he sees me first hand? What if he's a flammer? What if I don't want to be with a flammer? How will I know? I just have to jump into this and stop being the scared teenager and be the thrity something man I am. It's not like we would run into eachother all the time if it didn't work out.

I just have so many questions, and he only checks his email twice a week, I'm curious about that too. I start to feel as if he's done with me and then he'll email finally. If I'm this way about a guy I haven't even met yet, what about when I do meet him? Will I turn into that jealous and needy guy I once was? Or have I grown from that?

He sent an email in an odd mood that I think I really liked. It was about being lonely and working too much, that is so my life too. I can relate I think to this guy. I'm being more honest with them than most people I meet, I'm not sure why. I really want to see where this goes. Maybe no where, maybe somewhere. But I'm waiting, waiting to feel him pressed against me as we lean in for a kiss.

I have to calm down.

No comments:

Post a Comment