Thursday, October 4, 2007

Step number one

Well after an incredibly real dream where I enjoyed the company of another man, and it felt soooooo real, I've decided it's time for the next step.

I was contacted by an online dating service of sorts. I've belonged to many of them and have never responded to anything sent to me, I have just been too scared or nervous or whatever. But this last message has gotten to me, I decided it was time. He asked me to contact him on a different account so I did and told him the ball was in his court, he could ask whatever it was he wanted to know.

I have no idea what will come of this, maybe nothing, but maybe a friend? Maybe a friend with benefits? Who knows, maybe even a relationship. But I'm not getting my hopes up about anything. It will be interesting, I just have to keep pushing myself to move forward, I'm tired of being scared and alone. Even if this isn't anything at least I'm opening myself up again. I want to feel love again, I want to let someone else in. It's rather lonely in here.

Other than that life is pretty normal, just squeeking by everyday. Hoping and praying that things go right so I can build a life I'm proud of.

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