Friday, August 27, 2010

Sometimes it's the small things

I talked to my friend Free the other day and he asked how things were going. How the job was going and how the roommate situation was going and such, just over all checking up on me. He asked me if I was happy here, and I told him while it isn't what I thought it would be right away, I really am happy. The small things/changes are what really makes a difference.

My life is pretty similar to the life I had further north. I spend time at work and at home and driving in between. It seems to be all there is right now. I've been invited to a couple of different times out but because of work I had to decline, similar to my life up north but it's the small things that have made the difference.

When I'm listening to Cher in my car, or even Lady Gaga and pull up to a stop light with other cars around I don't have the sudden urge to turn down the radio enough that no one else can hear and judge me by what I'm listening too. I can have conversations with my roommate out at lunch in public that I never could have before based on the fear of being found out, or someone over hearing and assuming things and spreading more rumors than there were.

I'm free to be me here and it's a greater feeling than I imagined. It is something to get used to though. I went to Bethany's work today where she has told people about me being gay and outed me to her office. lol. It was mentioned breifly and I think I turned at least 10 shades of red until I realized it was o.k. here, I didn't have to put on an act, I didn't have to pretend, I could just own it and it felt good.

There really are some mental adjustments I need to make, but I'll get there because they all feel so good. The rest? It will come in time, I do know it was a little ambitious of me to expect to walk into a full social life when I got down here. lol. Little by little it will happen, for now I'm really enjoying being me and that's a hell of a start. :)

2 comments:

  1. Well, you could always opt to wear rainbow colored suspenders to eliminate the need to tell most people you're a raging queen.

    Oh, and I love Cher. I know that's very stereotypical of me, but I don't like Barbara Streisand, like, at all - so I think it evens out.

    Just remember you don't have to tell anyone anything. I can see the need/desire to tell people when you and Bethany introduce each other as roommates in order to quell rumors that y'all are hooking up. Even then it's not really necessary, as it would be an assumption on their part.

    It's not like all these straight people I know were introduced to me with the understanding that they're straight. It should be irrelevant, unless you're meeting someone hott. Then you have to find out ASAP...

    Sure do miss you!

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  2. I don't out him to EVERYONE, just to be clear :)
    Not even people that question the roommate thing really. I only out him to people that will not climb out of my freakin ass about how Pete and I are going to fall in love, get married and have a billion babies.

    The mention at work, just to clarify, was by a girl that wouldn't let it go. So I just said, "He dosn't like girls" to which she blondely replied, "Why doesn't he like girls?" and I said, "Because.....he likes boys...."

    Just to clarify, I generally don't go around outing people in some weird form of gay street cred or something :)

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