Thursday, May 28, 2009

A few realizations

You can read about my recent vacation here. I was hoping in that some fantasy land I would fall in love with a guy at camp and have a tearful good bye at the end of the weekend but be changed forever. Yeah, so did not happen lol. But I did realize that my future partner better enjoy camping because I want to camp more and more in the future when I'm more financially stable and have a job that allows me time to camp etc... I would really enjoy camping with someone rather than by myself all the time. I could really imagine making a life of it, I'm not so sure about the hot summer months, but I'm sure I could deal with it.

I did realize though the problems with communal camping this vacation though. Two families had combined their sites and shared the meals and such and by the last night all hell had broken loose and created quite an uncomfortable situation. I of course just blew it off an enjoyed the company of the people not involved, but watching the wife degrade the husband repeatedly in front of their children and in front of their friends, I wondered, why is that necessary?

Why do couples feel the only way to fight is to degrade one another in front of people who aren't involved, all that seems to do is create a long list of future problems and self esteem issues. Did it make her feel better to tell their kids that their father was a worthless a**hole? I hope it did because it sure didn't make the kids feel any better. I often wonder why people can't fight without really punching below the belt. Growing up my parents fought, they wouldn't be human if they didn't, but there were no screaming matches in front of us and there was no tearing one another down. If we asked what the problem was the worst answer we got was "your father has an attitude today and needs some quiet time" or vise versa. What kid can't relate to that?

I hope I'm never in a relationship where it's a constant tear one another down type. My aunt and uncle have a similar relationship, but it's more about picking on one another. When the anger kicks in there is no tearing one another down, it's just clean fighting about the situation. People that hear them talk about one another would think they hate each other, but they love each other so much it's sick! My parents never tear one another down unless it's in jest, and then it's obvious it's being said to spark a laugh or some kind of reaction from the other. I enjoy that kind of banter and hope someday I can find that.

The group of us heard things that we shouldn't have heard that night and we're all just stuck there trying to not be noticed. It was really the only awkward part of the trip. The three of us camping on the site a couple down from the family decided we wanted to buy a camp ground because it would be so much fun. K & M are both from a small town but have lived most of their adult lives in a bigger city, they are so open minded and so much fun to hang out with. It was such a nice change of pace from the small minded racist and bigoted conversations I hear all day around here. I just really enjoy it and hope for a future filled with it.

The sale of my business has had no news and it's bother some. I have my heart and my eyes focused so much on the future and with every week that nothing is happening the further and further it feels the future is slipping from my hands and it's sad. It gets to a point where I start to have a hard time imaging the future anymore and it gets me down. I try to keep reminding myself that God is taking care of me and will continue until the time is right for me to move on, but it's so frustrating just waiting for it to happen.

Well anyway, that's about all for this blog, saw lots of cuties at the camp grounds but nothing happened so no news. A few of us are talking about going to Louisville at the end of July to see the finals for the National Entertainer of the Year competition that our friend is competing in and it sounds like a ton of fun, but we're waiting to see how much the costs are going to come in at because it could be pricier than we're thinking and may put a damper in that plan.

Oh well, enough for today. See ya!


  1. Dude, you went camping with Jon and Kate Plus 8?!

  2. Seems like it, it's funny because we talked about that! We're going to open our own campground and get TLC to do a reality show about it and get the Gosselin kids to help out and do cross over shows!

    I think it could be a GREAT show!