Freedom comes from Confinement

For those that read this and no other blog, I'm still alive! Between the store, my other work schedule, and the house I'm working on I'm just plain exhausted to post much these days. I've been sick and the only babble that comes out when I talk sounds like a bunch of whining, and I don't even want to listen to it! lol. But I promise hopefully I'll get to a post before next year...aka Thursday, but I'm not promising, it's going to be pretty crazy between now and then yet too! Better get back to work. miss you all!

Why is it that it is always when you're sick and you're run down that the heart cries the most? Is it self pitty while being sick? Or could it be your needs are most exposed and you feel even more alone than any other time? This cold/upper respiratory infection has been dragging me along for only a few days now and it seems my heart is crying more now than ever before. Not just for someone to make me soup, or to put their cool hands on my warm forehead, but it cries for God, it cries for companionship, and it seems to point out all my downfalls of late. It points out what's missing in my life, but I don't have the energy or mental capacity to take stock or work on it. I hate being sick, have I mentioned that?

Besides being exhausted from a very busy week, I'm very happy with Christmas, I wish I had closed for tomorrow as well as I'm really not done enjoying my holiday. :) It's a short post because I have yet to wrap presents for my family when we get together tomorrow night, but I did get to attend a small dinner party with what I thought was the one gay couple in town, turns out they know the other gay couple in town. It was a freaking riot. I laughed so hard I nearly cried! I'm sure I have more to say, but I need to start wrapping.

I wanted to post and wish everyone a very Merry Christmas this year. May the season bring you love and happiness.......and some fun stuff too. lol. I would also like to share a couple of stories with you to start out the holiday right. TRUE story #1: And gentleman came into the store this morning and the following conversation took place: customer: Oh you have Tamales! (reading the package) Pork Tamales by Tia's Mexican Food Me: they sell really well customer: Do they have pork in them? Me: stunned silence......uh, yes, that's why they are called Pork Tamales customer: Oh, I just thought it might be a clever name, do you make them? Me: stunned silence, mouth slightly agape......uh no, that would be Tia's Mexican Foods customer: oh, I thought that was part of the name. Me: sounds of me slamming my head in the cooler door. yes, things like this really happen. TRUE story #2. This took place last week just as my mother finished our christmas wish on our reader board out in fron...

Last night was our manager's Christmas party where the managers at Wendy's all go out for dinner and drinks. It's a new tradition we started last year and it turns out really well. We never all get together to do anything, so once a year we get together and catch up and swap notes as well. We always have a good time and this year was no different. Afterwords we went to Scott's for the after party and had a good time as well. We played some beer pong and then made our way into drama central. I just sat in the corner and talked to Jobe and we avoided as much of it as possible. lol. We did end up having some good conversation later on, which doesn't happen too often, but is always good when it happens. It was a LONG night/ early morning, but it was worth it. Today I went out Christmas shopping finally. I got it all done.....I think?.?.? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm done. Now I just have to start wrapping. I did happen to shop a little for myself with some g...

It wasn't how I ever planned it, but the build up was there and there was a smoking hot guest. Even after the events of the week I told S again. I don't know if he'll remember, but I'm so tired of hiding it from him, I think when we go shopping tomorrow I'll bring it up.....maybe. Alcohol right now says I'll bring it up, but tomorrow I may feel differently. I've wanted to tell him, I've hinted around about it. His reaction was not quite what I was expecting, but I have a feeling he's known all along. What I didn't tell him was about my 15 year obsession with him. That is better left unsaid as the obsession is slowly going away. I want him to know as one of my best friends, and I know he'd understand, but we don't talk like that all that much unless alcohol is involved. Damn that smoking hot guest to bring that side out of me, well actually two of them. It was too much for me to handle with alcohol. Before I left for this party I said thi...

So last night I found out that S broke another promise to me. He convinces me when he's sober to trust him with certain things and then after he starts drinking he becomes very open about not only his life, but with my life as well. The results of this latest escapade is probably for the better, but it puts me in an awkward position. I want to tell him I'm gay so bad because he's one of my best friends, but at the same time, I know that if we're drinking in the wrong crowd it will come spewing out of his mouth to all the wrong people at just the wrong time. it's just really been getting to me lately. I need to talk to him about it and get this cleared up before I do something or say something that would destroy me. Oh, I thought by now the problems with alcohol wouldn't be so relevant in my life anymore, but I guess it takes longer for people around here to grow out of it. What else is there to do really?