Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Photo Memories - Becoming attatched

Look at that child and tell me I was not the most adorable thing on the planet. Seriously, try it. I mean check out how awkward I was, the priceless expression on my face, my pot belly. How awkwardly wonderful.

This was my wheel barrel. I'm not sure why I loved it so much, but I really loved that wheel barrel. My grandparents on my dad side got it for me one year for Easter. My grandma loved to get us gifts for any holiday. Sometimes they were bigger gifts, and other times just random small things that always brought joy to me because they were from the heart. I never wanted anything material from my grandparents, I never expected anything from them, but gifts small and large were what my grandmother loved to do. She did not shower us with stuff all the time, but she certainly enjoyed giving.

So anyway, I got this thing and apparently my whole day, week, month was spent with this wheel barrel, my family thought it was the cutest thing ever. Don't believe me how much I loved this thing? My parents wanted photographic proof apparently to show me later in life, check it out.....

Yes, that is me sleeping with my wheel barrel. My mother said it was not there when she put us to bed, but when she came back later to check on us I had dragged it into bed with me.

It wasn't the last time I got attached to a material item. I find myself often getting attached to the most random things. Sometimes they actually have sentimental value that I can't seem to detach from the item itself. Sometimes the sentimental value is just so strong and causes such great emotions to that item. I often wish I could detach myself from everything physical, to be able to just let it all go. To often we get caught up in the chase of these material items we lose value on whatever is really important in life. It's different to everyone, sometimes it's the love of their family, quality time with friends, whatever it is to you. The chase to acquire these things clouds our vision, it clouds our judgement, and can end up changing our perspective.

I would love some new furniture, I would love a new computer, I would love to fill an entire room with movies, but do I need them? I've spent years working on devaluing material items in my life, some days it's easier than others. There are days I get so lost in anger or sadness because I can't afford to buy the "things" I really want and it takes me awhile, sometimes months to back away from it and realize it's nothing that I need. I sometimes lose sight at the fact that I have everything I need. It has helped in the past when I haven't had the money to buy much of anything for long periods of time to reevaluate things like that, but when I start making money again, it's like my mind goes straight back to valuing my life based on the things I own.

I think the hardest part of this life is finding value in who you are, not what you have to offer other people. I'm still working on it, how about you?

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