O.K. so I can't post it on Facebook because the announcement at work has not been made, but I am not the one that got the supervisor position. I'm o.k. with it, I really am, I thought it was a shot in the dark anyway and I don't regret going for it. All this means is that this position is not right for me, at this time. In a company that is growing by leaps and bounds (we hired over 80 people this month) there will be plenty of opportunities and I'm o.k. waiting it out right now. I'm a little disappointed that I won't have the nice pay check, but it's really o.k. My boss's boss met with me in person to let me know and told me that I will make a great supervisor and she has no doubt in my abilities, she just had a candidate that had 8 years of actual fraud supervisory experience with a specialty in one of the systems that we actually use, and also had a great personality so she had to choose her.
I told her I was o.k with that, I have been on both sides of the table and know that if someone with more qualifications comes along that's the choice you have to make. I'm not upset about it, I told her I just don't like to live thinking "what if I had tried for it" and any other "what ifs" and she seemed pretty shocked by that. I think she was shocked how easy it was to let me down. I thanked her for telling me in person and looked forward to trying for another position at another time.
What I did learn throughout this process is that inside of me is this voice, this voice that advocates for me and believes in my abilities. A voice that is confident and speaks from the heart about what I believe and who I am. This crazy voice that has been trampled on for so many years, stuffed away into a deep far away place of my mind. It totally reappeared when I needed it and it shocked me but filled me with something I hadn't felt in a long time, belief in myself.
I like my job, sure it gets boring some nights, sure the pay isn't the greatest, but it's certainly a ton more than I have been making in recent years. lol. I enjoy most of my coworkers and I like the company I work for, what else can one person want? Bigger opportunities are on the horizon and one of them will be right for me, and I'll be ready. Good things are yet to come. :)