So what is it that brought me out of my funk, what is it that finally got that chip off of my shoulder. Well you see, it was a combination of several things really, there was time to myself, naps, and of course........4-wheel adventures!!! When I went last fall I got muddy but that was because I found every puddle possible even though there weren't that many to be found. This time was pretty different, around every sandy turn we were faced with this:
Trying to find our way around was always fun, and sometimes when there was no way around we were forced to drive right through, feet up on the hood of the 4-wheeler to save our shoes and just hit the throttle barreling through the mud and the water splashing up against the seat and you could nothing but go faster and get make your way through it all until you were safely on the other side.....hmmm....I know most of you will pick up on the similarities between that and life, so I should probably save myself the trouble and continue on. :)
Sometimes we made it through with no problems except a smoking engine or dirty shoes, or mud on our glasses, and then sometimes for some of us...aka my brother, things don't work out the way you anticipate:
Eric and I took the puddle to the left and my brother driving the only 2 wheel drive vehicle we had decided to take another route, a route he thought would be more fun and he burried the poor thing. He just kept spinning and spinning and spinning and he just couldn't get the tires to grab hold of anything so Eric had to tow him out, it.was.hilarious. We had so much fun that day, it was my brother's first trip out to the state forest and I haven't seen him so happy in so long. Just like I was in November he felt a million miles away from his troubles, away from the failing marriage, away from the uncertain future, away from the daily grind of boring, we were living in the now, taking it turn by turn, puddle by puddle and loving every minute of it.
There were several times I would catch him slowing down and turning around to make sure I was there with him, making sure I was alright and sometimes just to laugh and give me the thumbs up. I couldn't help but to remember the days when we were kids, no matter what I had said to him or how we treated each other he was always just around the corner watching me, making sure no one picked on me, no one made me mad. I didn't know he was always there, it's something I figured out as we grew older, hearing him talk about things he wouldn't have known about unless he had been there watching, repeating things he couldn't have heard unless he was listening. He's always been there, and continues to be.
One of the things I'm so grateful for in the past three and half years of stress and life that has been this store is the time I've been able to spend with my brother. It hasn't all been fluffy bunnies and roses, but the time we've spent together has brought us together. During the process of ending his current marriage, he's actually talking to me, and not just joking around, but about the things he's scared of, the things he's worried about, and we talk, we talk for real. It's so nice for a change. He's always been the more closed off one emotionally between the three of us, but it's changing now, he's finally opening up. It's been really great.
Yes there are days I'd like to smack him upside the head with a 2x4, but he's my brother and that's how brothers are. I'm very thankful for him.
What have I been doing besides outdoor adventures? Well we have been finishing our projects inside and outside of the store. My brother finished the new roof and of all the projects we've done outside that one is getting the most comments lol. We've removed our giant sign that has been dead for many, many years because it was causing some of the leaks in the roof that we were replacing. Besides the roof we also moved the deli case from the front of the store to the new deli area in the back portion of the store, a plan we've been working on for over 6 months, it was quite an undertaking moving a refrigerated case that is 12 feet long and weighs 2 1/2 tons, but we did it and no one got hurt while doing it. lol. Once it was there we had to run the new refrigeration lines the new electric, then we had to wire up the compressor, fix some tile work and then move all deli equipment and product to the new location. Then we started tearing up the old Deli which was removing cabinets, tearing down a counter we built last year, and removing walls and ceilings. We have since moved the big compressor, built a new room, rewired and replumbed it all as well as insulated, drywalled and wired the new area. We are getting closer and hopefully by next week I'll be finishing it all.
It's been a busy time and the chip on my shoulder hasn't really helped. I must admit there is a small chip still remaining but it's just about my age so I was expecting it to show up. But have no frear, just as every other year the day will come and go like every other day and the next day I'll wake up and continue on like I usually do. :)
O.K. I've been working on this too long tonight, time to give it up and go to bed.