Freedom comes from Confinement

You can read about my recent vacation here . I was hoping in that some fantasy land I would fall in love with a guy at camp and have a tearful good bye at the end of the weekend but be changed forever. Yeah, so did not happen lol. But I did realize that my future partner better enjoy camping because I want to camp more and more in the future when I'm more financially stable and have a job that allows me time to camp etc... I would really enjoy camping with someone rather than by myself all the time. I could really imagine making a life of it, I'm not so sure about the hot summer months, but I'm sure I could deal with it. I did realize though the problems with communal camping this vacation though. Two families had combined their sites and shared the meals and such and by the last night all hell had broken loose and created quite an uncomfortable situation. I of course just blew it off an enjoyed the company of the people not involved, but watching the wife degrade the ...

So this past Memorial Day weekend I finally got away on vacation. I had lined up a couple different people to work on Saturday but they all fell through so I decided I wasn't going to sit around waiting for customers all day while my vacation was being wasted, so I just up and closed the store for the weekend, it was a very wise choice. So Saturday morning I woke up early and got all of my gear around, snacks, camping supplies etc.. and loaded my truck up and took off for East Harbor Bay State Park near Marblehead Ohio up on Lake Erie, it was fantastic!! The drive was dull, but it was such a beautiful day I was so happy to be a part of it finally. I arrived at the park and got my gear unloaded and set up "Mohring Manor" I have a giant tent that's way bigger than 1 person needs, but I like it and it's all mine. :) Here's a picture of a similar tent, mine has two wings of space on the sides, but it's pretty close. So anyway after I got all set up I sat aro...

There have been a few comments left and a few comments made to me in person about the evolution of my relationship with S, trusting issues and such and I thought it was time I started answering or at least get into it myself once too. S and I are not romantically involved just to clear the air, I once wished it and sometimes I think I would want it, but it's not going to happen. It's taken S and I a good 15 years to build this relationship and I wouldn't do much of anything to ruin it. This brings out some jealousy sometimes in some of my friends because not everyone likes S. There are many things people don't understand about S and things people don't understand about me in regards to how I can stick up for him and befriend him the way I have. That was not always the case, but I was a different person then. The issues of trust that came up late last year had nothing to do with me being gay, they had everything to do with a picture I had in my possession that wa...

What am I apologizing for you may wonder, well I went out last night and had tons of things to talk about, tons of things I wanted to write about from the evening, but halfway through the night I had convinced myself that I couldn't blog about it because my readers may not like the things I say, or tell me how awful I am, and how they can't believe they ever made friends with such a person. This is probably true in many of my circles of friends, but if I have a great night and I can't talk about it with the people I love, why oh why would I want to continue the friendship? On my way home last night I realized that no one has ever given me a reason to think like this, perhaps it is myself still trying to hide behind imaginary conversations and imaginary people judging me from afar, maybe it's me dealing with how I was raised and realizing it was perhaps not quite open minded enough to fully enjoy life. None of you have ever given me a reason to think these things, so w...

I have been missing for a bit, but it was because Jake was on vacation and I didn't want to be the cause of his google reader for burning up so I paced myself......yeah.....that's why I've been missing.....yup, I swear, that's the reason. ;) I have been rather busy lately, both by design and by accident. For anyone who hasn't been in the store in the last three months, you won't even recognize the place, nothing is the same and the location of everything has changed, new paint, new layout, so much and I've been handling a lot of it myself. We moved the deli counter, finished the new deli, moved the loud compressor to the front of the store and built a room to enclose it, then we moved the counter and candy counters and redesigned a new space for them that makes the layout of the store make SO much more sense. I'm going to post a few pictures, a few more gallons of paint and I'll be ready to take the final before and after pictures based on the ori...

I went to see the high school drama group perform Godspell last night and they did an incredible job. I had never seen this before but am now an instant fan. I never quite realized what a moving musical this is. I only wish someone had warned me about a few things to avoid rather....umm.....awkward moments in the evening, so I thought I might warn you folks. 1. When you have really good seats, about 6 feet from the stage and you hear you someone singing beside you and you turn to see who it is.....there will be a well built 18 year old in his underwear standing next to you. Yeah wasn't expecting to come face to waist with a young chisled man while sitting with my sister and grandmother, not that I'm complaining, but a little warning would have been good. 2. That nearly naked chiseled 18 year old that you are drooling over and watching every move? Yeah turns out he's Jesus in this play. Talk about......awkward. I wasn't exactly sure which point was more awkward..... -...

I've been catching up on some episodes of t.v. I've missed over the last couple of weeks and feel better, I also managed to clean my bathroom (finally), I painted the store bathroom today, and also cleaned my office. I was actually productive today, so productive that I was exhausted at the end of the day and fell asleep on the couch and threw the rest of my schedule off for the night, so now I'm here at 1am typing this blog. lol. I'm sitting here getting angry at myself for letting myself get this huge, letting myself hold myself back from doing the things I enjoy because of my weight. Using stupid excuses to keep myself from putting forth an effort to change this part of me that I've been so unhappy with for so many years. I'm tired of constantly thinking people are laughing at me. I'm tired of hearing laughter when I enter a room and just automatically thinking it's me. I'm tired of being intimidated by people I think are good looking and just ...