Sunday, February 21, 2010

Some rambling and a queen.

http://willyoubemyhero.files.wordpress.com/2009/09/queen-latifah-u012.jpg
I don't know what it is about her, but I'm am just all about Queen Latifah. I have never seen her do a bad movie, commercial or interview. She just has such a charisma about her, how could you not just love her?

Today has been a day of observation, taking a step back and listening, watching, and analyzing. It's been interesting. I've spent most of the day with my brother which is always nice, it probably would have been nicer if he had skipped the 12 pack at noon, but I've talked to him about that until I was blue in the face, I can't help anyone who doesn't think they need it, so I get past it, at least I'm not paying for it anymore.

What has been getting to me recently is his utter lack of noticing the obvious. I don't mind listening to people talk about their jobs, even if I don't know what they do or how they do it, everyone has a little work related stress to get off of their chest. I don't mind listening to things I find mundane once in awhile because sometimes it's just a catalyst to other conversations and sometimes it's because the other person finds it so fascinating or exciting that I get caught up in the moment. All this is just fine with me, but my brother as of late has been talking a lot about the women all around him, not usual conversation but stuff like "oh man you should have seen her rack" or things like that, and then the next conversation he talks about how he would like to find someone to spend time with, someone to relax with. I understand it, in fact I do the same thing with a select few.

What gets to me is I never interact in the conversation, I never encourage him and yet he's oblivious to me lack of interest. The more I noticed today the more I realized he's just missing such obvious signs, over looking things that should be so obvious to him. He was staring and talking about how hot the neighbor's wife is this afternoon while I was very intently watching the roofing contractor climb the ladder. (Is it law that roofing contractors have to be smoking hot? I mean seriously!WOW!) I just kind of laugh at how different we are.

When I was out with my extended family tonight I listened to conversations about gay people, it seemed to be a big topic of conversation today for some strange reason. As the night went on the group divided to the older group, and then a few of us on the other end engaging in different conversation. I really believe it was the discussion that divided us, the people who aren't bothered by it, or support gay rights, etc... all gathered at one end of the table and we talked about hate crimes and how wrong churches can be and how wrong people can be and it warmed me to know that out of that group there were at least people in my family that wouldn't care if I was gay or straight. It was a nice conversation, but at the same time I kept looking at the other end of the table who were sharing gay jokes and talking about the politics of gay marriage and things that were really turning my stomach and I wondered.....

What would happen if I were to just climb up and stand on top of the table and tell them that I, myself am gay. What would happen, what would they say?

Sometimes I just wish I could shut my mind off and just live in the moment and enjoy the moment, why must my mind start up and make me all emotional? It's just wrong, they should make medication for that. lol.

Seriously, the roofing contractor? I just shake my head in disbelief that there is someone out there, that hot and that nice. Seriously, I should have taken pictures! (I tried, really I tried!)

Well really that's all I have for you tonight. Just rambling I guess, things I had to get out of my mind, and one I like to have in my mind......seriously, he was so hot he melted the snow off my roof! You just have no idea.

Have a great night or day, whatever it is when you read this. :)

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