Freedom comes from Confinement

Yes, it's another week, filled with wonderment, craziness and exhaustion; and it's only Tuesday. :) So this weekend was pretty normal. Friday night I went next door for a bar-b-que for the neighbor's birthday. It was a beautiful night, it was great weather, we sat outside and enjoyed the new fire pit and had a few adult beverages. We were up until nearly 1am talking religion. I learned more about the Jahova's witnesses (spelling doesn't count) and it was really good to see another view point. To me it's these other view points that can help strengthen my own, answer questions, or help me ask the right ones. I always had problems trying to think of the Holy Trinity being three in one, but now I think I get it, it felt good. But anyway, on Saturday I worked, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, but I'll be happy when someday I can get out of there. I would just rather enjoy my weekends than have to work all the time, it gets old and I'm getting ...

Since the moment I met you I have found you so incredibly beautiful. From a distance I could only judge you on your body, each wonderful contour, each beautiful muscle, each and every thing about you I found so exciting. I noticed the way your neck flexed when you turned your body, the way the muscles in your back contracted as you stretched, I noticed your fingers as you talked, I watched your kissable lips move as you started to speak to me. The way your feet shift as you walk, the way you jeans form to your body as you walk. I noticed the way your legs were just perfect for your body, the way the hair on your legs was perfect coverage, the way your pecs stick out of your t-shirts, the way you rub your pecs as you talk drives me wild. I noticed the nervous twitch you sometimes get in your eye that is just so cute, the way your nose wrinkles when you laugh, the way your eyes curl when you laugh and the way those adorable ears dance as you talk. The way your arms flex as you work ...

I can't believe it's been so long since I've blogged! Only one person has said anything so I wonder how many people are still reading these things anyway. Oh well, as long as one is reading I'm happy to keep doing it, well it's not really for anyone else besides myself anyway. Did that sound selfish? hmmm.....: ) So last Sunday I ventured back up to Michigan to meet with my old bosses ex-wife. Wow, say that three times fast! It is really strange to think that of all the people I would be going to see in Michigan she would be one of them, but we always got along and after you spend five years with a family, including spending 50 hours a week in their home, you bond with people. She's a bit long winded, but we saw each other through some pretty shitty times, and we both had a common enemy, her husband/ my boss. It was very strange to be going into that house again after nearly three years of being away from it all. I find it so hard to believe it's already be...

So lets see where to begin...... Sometime last week (the exact day is not for sure anymore) my neighbor and I were talking about anxiety, and it was a rather drawn out conversation (thank you to Coors light and Black Velvet) and it seems we suffer from similar anxieties. Said neighbor brought over 4 of his Zanex for me to try and see what it was like and if it would help. At that point I could go to a doctor to get a prescription of my own. Without really telling anyone I took one on a rather anxiety filled day to see how they would react. I was happy to find out that they indeed did the job. I was mellow no matter what was thrown at my direction. I was able to function without anger and see the good in every situation. I didn't lose my temper at stupid things, and I was just cool and collective, I felt like I hadn't felt in a long time. I didn't feel groggy or that I didn't care, I just wasn't scatter brained and could think clearly. Even people took notice. My...