Freedom comes from Confinement

Birthday: April 26 Where were you born: Bowling Green, Ohio Zodiac sign: I am grandfathered into the Taurus sign Height: 6'-1" Weight: Less than I was, more than I want to be. Hair color: dark brown, sometimes lighter brown, depends on how much time I spend in the sun. Eye color: Blue Shoe size: 12 wide Ring size: Which finger? I range from 8 to 13, just depends on what finger I'm shopping for. Skin type (freckles, tan, albino, etc.): farmers tan, well light side of tan. lol. Blood type: Hard to believe, but I have NO idea. I know it's probably not a good thing, but I figure if they need to know they will test it. College: I went to University of Toledo for two years and then took a year off and ended up graduating from Lawrence Technological University GPA: 3.25 at graduation. siblings: 1 older brother and 1 younger sister. tattoos: I'm still searching for the right one, and the right location. piercings: always wanted ...

I have posted about my last amazing trip to Cleveland last year and what an amazing experience it was and when I went earlier this month, it was no different. I did have the added bonus of having my roommate with me who made the trip go by so fast! It has been so long since I went on a road trip with anyone but myself I forgot how fun they can be! I had a couple people comment about how they couldn't understand how anyone could get so excited about visiting Cleveland, and to be honest if it was just the town I might agree to a certain degree, but it's the people I know and love in Cleveland that make it such an amazing place. There are few places in this world where I feel I can really just be myself and that is one of those places. It's this amazing mix bag of feelings of love, understanding, compassion, acceptance, caring and the list goes on. People who hugs are filled with hope and love, conversations that are filled with caring and excitement. There are just amazin...

The other weekend when my parents were in town my mother told me that my ex-girlfriend had a baby and was having it baptized at our church. She was pretty taken back when I told her how awesome I thought that was. I'm not sure if she thought I would be sad or a little angry or even the slightest bit upset, but I totally wasn't. I wanted to tell my mother that I was happy for her because I know she always wanted a child of her own and was worried that she was going to be to old to ever have one. I wanted to tell her I was happy for her because I never could have given her anything she wanted for 2 very basic reasons. 1. I was gay and had no interest in dragging her into a life of confusion, it wouldn't be fair to her. and 2. We never would have worked anyway, we made some o.k friends but she just would have never made a good wife for me, we wanted different things and had totally different views on relationships. I had to do what I did to break up with her because any oth...

There are many days where I stop and wonder what I am doing, what change I am in the process of and where is it leading? I wonder if I am on the right path, if I'm making good and healthy choices, and where this path is headed. There are days I get so overwhelmed by the little things, by the day to day living that I lose sight of the bigger picture. Days where I let anger, bitterness or even envy dictate my decisions. Some days I withhold love and affection just to see what happens. Times I withdraw from society just to see if anyone notices. There are times I get angry about things that don't matter, things I feel aren't fair and angry at who I am. I worry about the past even though it is just that, the past. I worry about the future and if I am strong enough to handle it, or am willing to accept the joy it holds. Sometimes I let all of this distract me from the present and the wonders, the joy and the gifts that are right in front of me.

Some days I'm blind sided by confidence and the feeling of self worth. It's funny because there are so many people out there that get blind sided by the opposite, but no one said I was normal. There are days where nothing in the world can stop me, that I believe what I say matters to someone and that people come to me because they love me and enjoy being in a relationship with me. There are days that I feel I can accomplish anything, that I can be successful and that I really am worth whatever it is. It feels good, those days. Do you want to hear something really fun? They happen more often now than they used to. They stay longer when they happen, and it feels better every single time. I wonder sometimes where they come from, sometimes I can feel them come from being shown or being told I'm loved for who I am, sometimes it's from accomplishments, and sometimes it's just because I get tired of putting myself down. I am applying for a new position at work, a promot...