Freedom comes from Confinement

I have fallen behind on writing I know, but I have about 6 posts in the draft stage waiting to be finished, hopefully in a better frame of mind. The crazy has come so close to the surface lately I was afraid of it pouring out too much onto here and end up scaring everyone so I had to reel it in a bit to keep myself in check. There has been much good happening but something in my head that has been stopping me from enjoying it the way I should be, it's that dang self doubt again. Lately it has me feeling like I'm barely holding it together. Once I get a handle on it I can finish these posts. All is good, I promise, it's just all in my head, once I figure out how to get out of my head a bit I'll make some room for all of you to take a peek in, but I must have the liability waivers prepared first.

Feb. 1: Did not get much done and for once, didn't give myself a hard time about it. Feb. 2: Had some hilarious conversations with some fun people at work. Laughter certainly breaks up the day. Feb. 3: to be honest, nothing memorable about today. Feb. 4: Pizza and a movie. What a great ending to an interesting day. Feb. 5: Spent the evening getting two teenage girls in trouble with their mother while we were all at a jewelry party. I should have stopped one margarita before. Feb. 6: Caught up on some me time. Feb. 7:received several emails today congratulating me on my rank standings so far this month. #1 agent in both locations. Feb. 8: Had dinner with the roommate at her other job and somehow life was good again. lol. Feb. 9: Had a great day at work, (I know, a WHAT?) found out I'm getting a bonus for last month and was in the top 25% of the agents between both call centers in the company! Feb. 10: realized how good the gym makes me feel when we go, I only realized this after...